It's YOUR Fault.

An anti-rape video is directed at public figures who made controversial statements regarding the December 2012 gang-rape of a student in New Delhi. 

The video was made by four stand-up comedians who wanted to change the "massive misconception'' that women invite rapes. 

Time to sound off........leave your opinions in the comment section.

Helping Hearts MB

In my small town community, we help each other out. 

That's just the way it is.

The Moman Family, of Eriksdale Manitoba, Canada has recently learned that their unborn baby boy will possibly need a heart transplant.

They are working with the Doctors in Winnipeg and Edmonton to find the best possible course of action for their little guy and those that love and support this family have sprung into action. They are putting together a fundraising event to support their family, so some of the unknown financial costs won't be a worry to them.

They have set up a wonderful page on Facebook called HelpingHearts MB and all funds raised go to The Moman Family. 

Payments and donations are easily accepted via the Helping Hearts MB 'SHOP' tab. All payments are secure via Paypal.

Helping Hearts MB are selling Handmade Crochet Hats for $20 and for every adorable hat they sell, The Moman Family will receive $10. If you don't need/want a hat, but want to support the family, please feel free to donate whatever you can. All sales and donations are a huge help! 

All Facebook shares get the word out even further – that helps too! 

Head over to Helping Hearts MB and lend a hand. 

Tuning Out

There comes a time in one's life when hanging on to the crap that stresses us out just doesn't make sense anymore. Repeating the same mistakes seems less and less.....cool. Remember when hanging on to meaningless anger, frustration and bitterness meant something? There are things we 'review' and toss - like cleaning cupboards sometimes! I never realized how much television influenced my life until I was faced with a huge, scary question: could YOU tune out?

There used to be a time when watching countless hours of mindless television made sense to me. I thought I loved it - I could waste so much time! It made sense 7 years ago to turn it off and try a life without it. I had heard someone tell me they had unplugged for a week - and I was surprised at how disgusting my reaction had been. How could I have reacted so negatively without even considering the positive consequences of it?

People don't like being uncomfortable - we don't like pain - and my being without a television 7 years ago was going to be both. I knew it in my heart, head and heels before I even tried. I ruined the chances of being successful at it.....because I didn't dare bring it up to my family for fear they'd want to do it.

The universe had other things in mind - because 2 months later, hubby himself mentioned it. I heard him out and thought that if we were both on the same page with this (I knew we should, I just didn't want to) - we should give it a shot.

Here we are 7 years later without.....what do they call it now? Cable? Satellite? A 'bundle?' We love it and are so grateful we turned off the commercials - especially with an impressionable toddler in the house. The first time we took her to someone's home and the television was on (avec commercials) - our little soaking sponge asked for every single item she was shown.....and she also had to go to a play park right away!

We can choose to turn it off at any moment - we don't have to see what happens next. It isn't real.

I explain that television is called programming for a reason - and if you can't find the patterns in the 'templates' of the shows, then it might be time to take a break. Reality shows - I watched as many as I could! After 10 'Survivor' seasons, I gave up. It was getting ridiculous. talk about finding what works and running with it. The monotony of the repetitive programs was getting to me.

We decided to let go of the television and we have never regretted it. Now, however, I am that woman who gets mortified stares and looks from people I talk about it to.

I also explain that we have televisions in our homes, but we don't have satellite or cable. We can choose to watch a documentary online - and we have Netflix. These, although commercial free are not difficult to overuse either. It is still about being aware of your choices......

.....all that just from the idea of turning off your television?

When we chose to turn it off - to change things in our lives for the better - we did so knowing certain things would happen. This is why we do anything that moves us forward - so ourselves and our lives improve.

I suggest committing to turning off your own television for one week. In the summer that shouldn't be too tough - there are so many great things to do outside! One week. That's it. If you want to turn it back on afterwards, feel free to watch TV!

Push yourself past that uncomfy place you think you will find - it exists only in your head. Then email me and tell me all about it.

I love choices. Rock your day!

Positive Postcards

We all have found or will find ourselves at points in our lives feeling incredibly alone. It happens - it is part of the way we process aspects of life - but if we can't figure a way back from that point, we can be left with the feeling that we are solo flyers in this universe. Then what? If we get too introverted in thought, we run the risk of falling into a depression and isolating ourselves from others (physically or emotionally) - and that isn't good either.

It isn't happenstance that we need each other. It isn't coincidence that we thrive when others let us be who we are without judgement - it isn't 'just happening.' Human beings cannot progress without help or helping each other. Think of every situation you have ever been in........

I believe this is how we learn gratitude - and how all of us learn how to interact more positively with each other.

I have had so many supportive people in my life. I remember one group of incredible ladies especially.......

It was a time when things looked very bad in my narrowing perspective and I was allowing fear to creep in. I was really trying to stay positive but nothing I tried to do to change the way I was thinking was working. We all have these moments - when we feel like the options have run out and we're about to enter a realm we have zero experience with. I found myself alone - seemingly walking the path first and not seeing anyone beside or behind me. I felt totally alone.

I felt like I was about to let out a scream that no one could ever stop......

I was so caught up in my own fear of what now and making the wrong decisions......... I never saw it coming.

An incredible message of the literal kind....lovingly tucked in an edible fruit bouquet (thanks, Edible Arrangements).

The nurses were great, but this was a message from people who knew me. Someone had given my feelings thought - and that really means something! Not only had they given them thought, they put that thought into an action that results in a reaction.....from me.

I suddenly saw how it all worked......

In the same milliseconds that I had decided to give up - and I do mean give up......this note arrived with the very words I needed to rethink what I had JUST thought. A whole new world opened a brand new door.....I felt hopeful.

I had never felt so hungry for an edible fruit bouquet as I did in that moment. The nurses and I shared it all and it was blissful! I again changed the way I thought about my situation and became even more determined to hold the positive thoughts in my mind. Without them, we are lost.

From this one small square of paper printed with a personal message, hope was rekindled.

Hope turned into a dream - and since dreams can even be realized online these days - I decided to develop a way to spread the love to those who are experiencing the point I had reached.

Everybody needs somebody sometime and I didn't want anyone to feel alone if they didn't have to.

 And so.....POSITIVE POSTCARDS was born.
This is an activity for members where we get off of the computer and spread positivity via handmade snail mail postcards - a chance to get creative and share while offering hope and support for those who need a burst of positive thoughts.

 

The point is to send a message of positivity to others around the world. It isn’t about names. It is about support. It is about creating an energy that makes us all feel good.

Recipients get the gift of inspiration, support and love – something we all thrive on!

You get time to yourself for creating, and who knows where that can lead.

POSITIVE POSTCARDS will become something to treasure.

Want to join the ‘POSITIVE POSTCARD revolution? It's new - but we'll be powerful.

Stay tuned on the Facebook Page for address postings - then send out a POSITIVE POSTCARD to the address listed to brighten someone's day!

 

If you know of someone who could use a lift, drop us a line.

 

There can never be too many of us. Rock your day!

 

51 Years and Counting......

I have to admit that I saw this poster before I ever knew who these two ladies were.

I'm not into celebrities all that much anymore (if they are that, I'm still uncertain) - but when I saw the top two photos, I knew I had to dig deeper and find out why these two photos were placed together and what the message to the rest of us was supposed to be.

I first saw the top left pic over a year ago and thought, "So weird - because that hasn't been my experience with the vegan/vegetarian/raw food world at all.'

I also thought it was strange that the woman on the right (Nigella Lawson) was so svelt yet she consumed 'copious' amounts of wine while noshing on chocolate, cheese, butter (plain? Yuck....) and desserts. Granted, she was wearing professional makeup where Gillian McKeith is not......

So I searched the internet for a couple more photos of these two beautiful ladies. It took me 3 seconds to locate the blue eyed blonde photo (bottom left) of Gillian - a much different perspective seems to emerge once both women are on more of an even playing field.

Then I located a photograph of Nigella Lawson - a different angle, less makeup, wardrobe that isn't an evening gown with smashed boobage....and suddenly the perspective we have on both women changes again.

Perspective is everything. Both of these women are incredibly beautiful no matter what age they are. Both are 51 and thriving.

Support em all - and rock your day.

Happy Birthday to Me!

Another year has flown by and another year means another birthday. I have always loved my birthday! I see people all the time who say 'it's just another day' or 'it's no big deal.' I disagree! A birthday is a joyous day - it's the day you started your journey on earth! There are so many facets to the wonders that it all entails, it mesmerizes my mind.

I enjoy mind exploration - wondering, imaging and dreaming about what we can do or be. I have no desires to travel to the far reaches of the world, but I do possess the passionate drive to accomplish and learn all I can while I'm here.

Every year on my birthday, I write myself a letter. I date and tuck the letter away in my super duper secret hiding top drawer of my dresser and leave it, untouched for one year. On my birthday, I sit down and write the pages I will read the following year.....and then I read the other one.
I love writing the next years before reading the last years. This allows me the freedom to reflect on the past year, not the past year smattered with what I just read-now-writing-follow-ups. The letters always make me smile, cry, regroup, reset, relax and re-evaluate.

So this morning - on the morn of the 41st year of my birth, I wrote my letter. I thought I'd share snippets of it as examples. The rest is just for me.

 

May 19th, 2013

My Dearest Shawn,

 

Forty one! Wow!

 

Simply thinking about the number makes me actually feel a little weepy this year. It isn't because I feel like I am growing old or I feel like age is becoming an issue - I reflect on the past year (briefly) and am so extremely grateful that I can see the arrival of my 41st year.

 

The past 9 months have been interesting - a time of survival, healing and renewal. Who would have believed we would have ended up fighting for our life more fiercely than the first time?

 

The universe reminds us that we are not free from life happening because we have already endured something difficult. I am still grateful and always will be.

 

Life is an exciting ride even though we must also embrace some grief along the way.

 

I never understood grateful until I 'endured.' Now that I am finding my latest 'normal' (whatever that is!) I am enjoying life on yet another level. Appreciation - one of the lessons learned again this year (as in past years). I look at my family and know that I am supported, loved and free to be who I am. This is such a cool gift to me!

 

I have learned to treat myself better through the years and with continued effort, the intention is to live on! Another successful, positive year filled with dreaming, living, loving, creating and exploring. I am always learning and that is the most fun for me!

 

Treating ourselves well is one of the keys to moving forward, feeling better and in turn inspiring ourselves to love life on a level we never thought we deserved to reach. Welcome to your life - again!

 

I love you. I support you in your choices and I'm here for you always. You are a strong, amazing woman who has a passion for life.

 

Rock your year - see you at 42.

Don't do anything I wouldn't do - and have fun doin' it.

 

Love, Shawn

Then, I went back and read last years letter. It went something like this (again, snippets, not the entire letter);

May 19th, 2012

Dear Shawn,

 

What a great year!

We're FORTY!

 

Another birthday - I feel like I say that every year, but I'm certain I think it. I love every year, as I tend to extract all of the joy I can from moments these days.

 

Never worrying about age means we never have to remember it either - so I always say I'm celebrating the 11th anniversary of our 29th birthday.

 

So many things happening, all moving us forward and toward greater things! The wedding ceremony plans are well under way and the excitement of everything is ensuring things come together with seemingly little effort.

 

The year is about to bring with it so many wonderful events! We're in the middle of planning a wedding, and all of the great things in between - those are the year's biggest. We have waited a long time for this day.

 

I also say this is the year to really move forward. Stepping out of our comfort zone has been key - living life on our own terms and figuring out what it is we really want (and working towards it) are the goals of 'Shawn' this year.

 

The book, 'The Fat Girl Now 50% Lighter' is almost done. It is the albatross around my neck at the moment - I see it done, but am finding my perfectionist behavior coming out. It in itself has been an incredible learning process and I have loved every minute of it. I love being both a student and teacher of life!

 

Love, support, understanding, freedom, trust - I have found all of those things in someone I never thought existed.

 

ME.

 

Here's to 41. See you again soon.

 

Love, Shawn

I love reading last years letters - you never really remember everything you write, but it is intriguing to go back later and re-read them. It is also a unique way to learn more about yourself too.

 

Feel free to steal the idea - it is a great way to reflect on a past year before tucking the memory lovingly away.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thoughts Become Things.

An interesting question was posed to me the other day.

"Why can't I do what you did?"

I asked what was meant by the question, and the response was, "I try and try and nothing happens. I'm miserable, I'm huge and I'm losing hope."

I've had women sit with me and start a conversation with, "I hate you - you look great and I feel like garbage."

Both statements made there, although directed to me, have nothing to do with me and everything to do with the person who said it. I don't take offence - the 'message' got tangled up in transition from her brain, to her mouth....to my ears....to my brain. I can see the knots in it and untangle accordingly. Basically, boiled down - she is asking me to help.

She said she hates me. I represent something she feels she can't attain. First error. If she hated me, she wouldn't have sat down and engaged me in conversation about herself. She can attain anything she determines to be attainable. She has to believe it can be before she even begins. This is the place most folks have a problem moving past. For whatever reason, we have it in our heads that we aren't worthy or capable of change. Big game show buzzer sound here....wrongo! We all are, and that's why I don't get up and leave when the 'insult' is tossed onto the table. I'm also certain I am guilty of this maneuver over the years too.

I tell women who approach me this way (and I say it in my book, The Fat Girl Now 50% Lighter), we all need a spark. If we can't find that which ignites the firey passion in us, is all lost? Never. If you've ever been in a relationship that went south fast (as in, you didn't realize it was ending) then you know the feeling of 'life will never improve for me.' A really bad day example fits here. I call it 'Poor-Me-It is."

That's a feeling that we have developed into a negative, restricting thought....and we can change that anytime we want to. The problem? Most people believe they fall to the side of positive thinkers and life lovers, but in reality they may be secretly depressed, feeling self conscious and vulnerable....worry warts fall into this category too - any negative, life draining 'thoughts' don't help us. They stagnate our energy and lead us to the couch before we can complain about it.

As far as I can remember, being a woman always felt like a competition. Girls would always talk about each other, judging outward appearances of others to make themselves or the group feel better. I never understood it, but I'm certain I participated at some points. I can't develop a specific example in my mind, but knowing how poorly I felt about myself, I know it must have happened. Ideally, we should support and encourage each other to be the best individuals we can be but life doesn't always go that way.

I focus on the good things. I focus on a person's inner beauty and work outward from there. All people....individuals....all are beautiful in some way. What a cliché, I know - but once you look deeper than what they wear, what music you hear them listening to, what words you hear them saying or what actions you see them do....once you get past that 'stuff' - the physical.....there is an entire world we know nothing about. All of us have a story inside.

There are feelings that have developed out of experiences. Some of those feelings are clung to, others discarded as useless. Ideally, we should support and encourage each other to be the best individuals we can be.

Some hide them, some purge them and hold on to nothing and others try to dump them all over other people so they don't have to bear burdens alone. They are used against others in all sorts of relationships because we have come to know what works. Children manipulating parents. If you know a child that can cry at the drop of a hat to get their way, and then turn around after being successful and smile like the Cheshire cat, you know what I mean.

We have all had a turn at doing all of these things.

I have removed the word 'hate' from my life. It does pop up now and then if I allow it. I want to remain on the positive side of life, no matter how shaken the snow globe gets. I'm strapped in, hanging on and ready for anything.

Remember - thoughts become things. The Law of Attraction (from The Secret) is a power we can all tap into with a tiny amount of practice.

"I hate you - you look great and I feel like garbage." When someone says this, remember that thoughts become things. She stated 'hate.' She sends out this feeling of hate and will inevitably be met with more of it in her life. If I truly am hated, then she will do this until it consumes her. It has zero effect on me unless I take it in and hang on to it.

She also said, "You look great." Cool - that will keep happening too - but I'd like to think that I can take credit for that one. When we voice that we 'feel like garbage' - however veiled in fancy words (and this wasn't), we will continue to feel like garbage if we can't change our train of thought.

Positive thoughts lead to positive things. Negative thoughts lead to negative things. It is simple. It is true. It is being proven over and over.

We can only support each other so much before individuals must learn to support themselves. I sat around and waited for years before I acted to get well. Even then, I needed encouragement, support and a big kick in the reality to get moving. However difficult we believe it is going to be - that is what we will meet with in the future. Make the future worth living!

We started a simple exercise - something to prove that The Law of Attraction really worked. We chose one thing that used to drive us batty. Car parking spaces. We could never find one! Instead of heading to a large parking lot and thinking, "Ugh - this is going to be difficult and a huge pain in the butt' - we changed the way we thought. We imagined four or five open spaces that we could find easily - and 90% of the time, it is flawless.

There's a 'saying' - 'You can do anything you set your mind to."
We have far more power than we think! Rock your day!