Keep the Connections Going....

Yesterday, I talked about connections and how each one we make has an effect on us, even though we may not see it at the time.

In the past few years, I have met, emailed and spoken via phone to so many people that connections can’t help but be made. I treasure each one – I learn so much (I keep saying this, but I am often so in awe of how much I learn).

Awhile ago, I received an email from a woman who told me her story and we established an email relationship. We’ll call her ‘R’ because I haven’t officially told her I was posting this.

I soon learned the connection between us was far closer than I had originally thought – she was the granddaughter of two amazing people – a couple who were bestest lifelong friends with my grandmother.

I had known and loved her grandparents – and they were loved by everyone who knew them. My grandmother kept three beautiful silk roses amongst her plants to signify their friendship and I always thought it was a loving gesture for her to do so. They visited often and always held each other in such high regard. I love being amongst people like that.

These two families were so close that whilst growing up, I believed we were related to them. It happens.

I wasn’t sure if I had ever met ‘R’ in real life, but it didn’t matter at that point. The communication opened up and we learned, shared about ourselves and cross referenced the past.

It was exciting to know that the generations after those three best buddies were now continuing a friendship. I was psyched to know more about her! Her grandparents were phenomenal…….

She inspires me – and every now and then I get a package in the mail – an inspiring magazine or letter from her. The things she sends are meant to inspire and they always do. It makes me smile and want to keep inspiring others. She gets me!

She is very self aware – a strong role model and I intend to meet her in real life soon! She has children too – another generational continuance and I can’t wait to meet them all.

Here’s to you, ‘R’ – for emailing me and beginning a new chapter in a wonderful book featuring both of us - and another generation of connections.

 

 

 

Again With The Connections

I have always been intrigued by the connections between people, and though I have had many of my own connections in my life), I love how the ‘paths’ of people criss-cross, come back to haunt us and reconnect us on amazing levels that we can’t ever really understand. It allows us to subtly work through the past, approaching the future with anticipation and excitement instead of dread.

I recently had dinner with a group of women I had the honor to work with at a youth care facility. We worked as an incredibly efficient team, and for years I had been trying to put my finger on exactly why we were capable of all of the things we accomplished. We were considered an elite group - self proclaimed! Nothing could deter us, but I was always curious as to how we managed to pull it all off.

These days, I have ‘let it go’ and just enjoy the idea that I have people in my life that I feel like I could tell absolutely anything. Trust is a huge deal to me (and it should be) – and I feel comfortable amongst these ladies. They teach me so much and they probably don’t even know it. OK, they probably do – they are intellectual, life embracing gals and I adore them!

There are others in my life who I rarely see, but one visit and we find the same wavelength instantly – like nothing ever changed, yet now we have so much more to talk about and share because change happens constantly even if we don’t see it.

I also have new folks introducing themselves into my life and I have to admit, I love learning other women’s stories. They may not be like my own, but there are elements of emotion we can all connect with. Did I already mention that I learn so much from these women?

I used to be the type of person who had to be right. I was always right – even when I was wrong. My bull-headedness has gotten me into more trouble than anything else I ever did in my life. It lead me…..well, it lead me nowhere good until I started using it for good instead of evil.

I stayed standing still on my ‘path’ because I refused to budge. I was pissed off for so many reasons – all embraced and discarded now, but back then my life felt chaotic and without direction. Why? Well, because it was of course! That’s a no brainer to me these days, but back then you could not have told me what was good for me. I wasn’t listening.

The connections I have made in my life have ‘taught’ me who I can be (anyone I choose) and it was all accomplished without a lecture or negativity. Perhaps the teachers don’t even realize the far reaching effects of what they offer to others.

I learned from these people because they were positive folks who respected me, stuck with me through my life and –respected me for who I was,  even though I may not have known who that was at the time.

Every person we encounter teaches us something, but catching the lessons, either consciously or not is key.

I didn’t catch the lessons until years later - in fact, I’m still catching them!

 

 

 

Creating Connections

We are constantly creating connections in our lives. From the moment we are born, we are bonding with our mothers. Our family is our closest (and usually only) connection when we are young. Wait - let's not forget the friends of our parents. They matter in a big way!

As we reach school age, we establish a broader circle of connections and we learn like sponges. Ohhhhh do we learn!

Once we have been plunked into our scholastic setting, the connections begin to become further reaching - we may know people our parents don't at this point and we develop a sense of who we want to be friends with.

Junior high and high school tends to be where our 'strongest' connections are made. Is this because we are dealing with emotional and hormonal changes in our lives? We make some really strong connections - and often after the twelfth grade, they dissipate as adulthood takes hold.

If it wasn't difficult enough, as teenagers we seem to also deal with harsher judgements from society and perhaps even our parents for having opinions of our own (and voicing them). Perhaps it's the peer pressure, but perhaps teens prove themselves in need of further education (when it comes to real life) and adults start to realize the shape of the future.

All of these connections before we even head out into the great big world. I was thinking about this the other day....and as tends to happen, one thought created another and then another.....

.....'What happens if our 'connections' are based on things about us that are false, or phony? It isn't like that never happens! What if when we meet someone, we hide our true selves and operate based on what we believe the other person wants to see?' How long will this be able to work for us?

(Do you see where this is going....?)

Our connections - and relationships or interactions with others - have now fallen to a more negative side of operation.

Lack of honesty about our beliefs, things we like or things we do will only end up coming full circle eventually. Our true selves emerge in times of emotion (bad day, anyone?) and when two people realize just how incompatible they are, it can be confusing for one or both of them.

We have all been the person who 'should have been more honest' and we have all been that person who 'thought they knew someone.' We all know pain, but our levels of experience are different.

As we grow up, we realize that we have some control over how we deal with - and who. As a young adult, I'm sure the 'me' I presented was a big pile of confused personality trying to sort itself out. I admit it. I had fun along the way though, cross my fingers I didn't confuse too many others and I learned some amazing lessons - but I'm far from finished!

I believe part of the 'growing up' thing is realizing how precious time actually is. We don't have enough of it, never will - and we can't make more. Having folks in our lives that bog us down makes no sense, so as we get older, we tend to avoid drama and negativity where we can.

I look forward to the future and the positive connections to be made along the way. I'm grateful for each one I ever made and what it has brought to my life.