Lead Us Not Into Judgement.

A nearby city recently exploded with the news that two young children were found fatally harmed in their home - and mom was missing. News spread fast about how this mom had recently been diagnosed with Post Partum Depression and required in home care to assist in taking care of the kids. The story unfolded hour by hour - and still no word on where mom was.

Moms (and dads and all other types of humans) all over Facebook immediately raged and typed obscenities and accusations far sooner than I had expected. They slapped her photo up online demanding vengeance for the innocence lost. I understood people's feeling to protect the sanctity of 'children' but I felt that mom was being crucified before even being found. Everyone had her guilty before we even heard where she was. Most spat hateful words towards this woman and staunchly defended motherhood.

I wondered where the support from our fellow (wo)man had vanished to......especially since womanhood was being so well defended these days. Where was her defense? Moms felt the need to tell the world how much they loved their kids through the tragedy. Others exclaimed they were dealing with the same thing and I wondered if they would genuinely continue to seek help through their 359 friends online.

I was shocked to see one woman in an online group post a photo of the mom (who loved her children, let's get that straight) and call her names she will never deserve. What have we become?

Do we think that because we invest 3 hours in a football game that we're just like an extra player? When Kim Kardashian tweets, why do people leap with joy? Celebrity magazines are still a big deal....and who is Justin Bieber anyway.......

We hear of horrendous stories on the news of mass killings and serial deaths - and we feel disgust and hate. We want to separate ourselves from the idea of it so we push it away - of course we do - these are horrible things that horrible people do to innocent ones. We show a strong disdain for these things yet there are what.....6 SAW movies? Someone is watching this stuff........

People started to connect that if you have and or are diagnosed with PPD you will hurt your children. This isn't always the case of course. No one really knows the details of this particular case either.

The news of mom having been placed on medication the week before wasn't known until recently, but this story seemed to become emotionally connected by people to a horrendous serial killer we had to hunt down and confine.

When we're online (Facebook especially), we cast stones all over the place believing that they will never return to our laps. Have we forgotten that humans used to really stone each other to death because it was said that we should? We don't know anything about this woman and here some are throwing those same proverbial stones as yesteryear - and those that do know her stepped up in wonderful fashion and defended how great she was in everyday life. She loved her children - and we will never know what happened - and it isn't our task to try to figure it out.

There are millions of stories all over the world that people have rushed to judgment - this isn't the first. This one hit close to home in the mother sense and geographical sense....and I witnessed the reactions in real time online.

Some might say we need to figure this out so that we ensure it never happens again. That is the issue with PPD and each person is an individual. They will react individually and need to be supported individually. If we are to do anything, we need to stop pointing fingers first. Casting accusations and hate will never accomplish anything that we really want to see happen. It will only ensure we remain defensive and judgmental......and we don't even know the whole story.....

.....but what if our lives got that out of control and we were dealing with something like this mom? Would we appreciate the accusations or feel like we were even more hopeless and without support? At what point do we slip past that point where we can help ourselves and how do we ask the ones who judge for help?

They found the mom yesterday - her body was located in a river close to the home she shared with her family. Our deepest condolences to everyone involved.

When the latest news hit the internet, some people jumped off of the 'revenge' wagon and leapt on to the support victims of Post Partum Depression wagon. They were no longer angry - they were grieving with everyone else. Perspectives seemed to change yet there is still no solid evidence of who is responsible - it is all still speculation.

We can never imagine what these families are going through. Some may try to go there by imagining it but the idea is so scary that we push it away as fast and with whatever we can. Usually things we say come out in varying ways - and most moms would have been supportive of this woman in real life - I tend to think they just forget themselves online.

Use this example: A news van pulls up to the house next door and is streaming live. You rush to the television to tune in to find out what's going on. Do you have emotional feelings about the well being of your neighbor or are you trying to be curious and determine what is going on? The answer to that will mean a lot - but you will never know for sure until it happens to you.

Same scenario - except now you're the neighbor and the van is there to interview you. Feels different, doesn't it?

There is a husband who has just lost his wife and two children  - he is suffering grief beyond words tonight. We need to think of how strong they are going to be for the rest of his life - and ensure they too get the support they need. We need to send positive thoughts for peace and healing.

We are human beings with feelings - but sometimes we forget that other people have feelings too. We want so badly to share our own perspective that we dismiss that we are part of a collective group that only thrives when in support of each other.

I am not naming members of the family in this post for a specific reason. If you know of whom I speak, then you can send special positive thoughts. They could have been any of us.

A family has lost three beautiful members who loved each other deeply. This is what we need to remember as we step out of the way and let them grieve.