Thoughts Become Things.

An interesting question was posed to me the other day.

"Why can't I do what you did?"

I asked what was meant by the question, and the response was, "I try and try and nothing happens. I'm miserable, I'm huge and I'm losing hope."

I've had women sit with me and start a conversation with, "I hate you - you look great and I feel like garbage."

Both statements made there, although directed to me, have nothing to do with me and everything to do with the person who said it. I don't take offence - the 'message' got tangled up in transition from her brain, to her mouth....to my ears....to my brain. I can see the knots in it and untangle accordingly. Basically, boiled down - she is asking me to help.

She said she hates me. I represent something she feels she can't attain. First error. If she hated me, she wouldn't have sat down and engaged me in conversation about herself. She can attain anything she determines to be attainable. She has to believe it can be before she even begins. This is the place most folks have a problem moving past. For whatever reason, we have it in our heads that we aren't worthy or capable of change. Big game show buzzer sound here....wrongo! We all are, and that's why I don't get up and leave when the 'insult' is tossed onto the table. I'm also certain I am guilty of this maneuver over the years too.

I tell women who approach me this way (and I say it in my book, The Fat Girl Now 50% Lighter), we all need a spark. If we can't find that which ignites the firey passion in us, is all lost? Never. If you've ever been in a relationship that went south fast (as in, you didn't realize it was ending) then you know the feeling of 'life will never improve for me.' A really bad day example fits here. I call it 'Poor-Me-It is."

That's a feeling that we have developed into a negative, restricting thought....and we can change that anytime we want to. The problem? Most people believe they fall to the side of positive thinkers and life lovers, but in reality they may be secretly depressed, feeling self conscious and vulnerable....worry warts fall into this category too - any negative, life draining 'thoughts' don't help us. They stagnate our energy and lead us to the couch before we can complain about it.

As far as I can remember, being a woman always felt like a competition. Girls would always talk about each other, judging outward appearances of others to make themselves or the group feel better. I never understood it, but I'm certain I participated at some points. I can't develop a specific example in my mind, but knowing how poorly I felt about myself, I know it must have happened. Ideally, we should support and encourage each other to be the best individuals we can be but life doesn't always go that way.

I focus on the good things. I focus on a person's inner beauty and work outward from there. All people....individuals....all are beautiful in some way. What a cliché, I know - but once you look deeper than what they wear, what music you hear them listening to, what words you hear them saying or what actions you see them do....once you get past that 'stuff' - the physical.....there is an entire world we know nothing about. All of us have a story inside.

There are feelings that have developed out of experiences. Some of those feelings are clung to, others discarded as useless. Ideally, we should support and encourage each other to be the best individuals we can be.

Some hide them, some purge them and hold on to nothing and others try to dump them all over other people so they don't have to bear burdens alone. They are used against others in all sorts of relationships because we have come to know what works. Children manipulating parents. If you know a child that can cry at the drop of a hat to get their way, and then turn around after being successful and smile like the Cheshire cat, you know what I mean.

We have all had a turn at doing all of these things.

I have removed the word 'hate' from my life. It does pop up now and then if I allow it. I want to remain on the positive side of life, no matter how shaken the snow globe gets. I'm strapped in, hanging on and ready for anything.

Remember - thoughts become things. The Law of Attraction (from The Secret) is a power we can all tap into with a tiny amount of practice.

"I hate you - you look great and I feel like garbage." When someone says this, remember that thoughts become things. She stated 'hate.' She sends out this feeling of hate and will inevitably be met with more of it in her life. If I truly am hated, then she will do this until it consumes her. It has zero effect on me unless I take it in and hang on to it.

She also said, "You look great." Cool - that will keep happening too - but I'd like to think that I can take credit for that one. When we voice that we 'feel like garbage' - however veiled in fancy words (and this wasn't), we will continue to feel like garbage if we can't change our train of thought.

Positive thoughts lead to positive things. Negative thoughts lead to negative things. It is simple. It is true. It is being proven over and over.

We can only support each other so much before individuals must learn to support themselves. I sat around and waited for years before I acted to get well. Even then, I needed encouragement, support and a big kick in the reality to get moving. However difficult we believe it is going to be - that is what we will meet with in the future. Make the future worth living!

We started a simple exercise - something to prove that The Law of Attraction really worked. We chose one thing that used to drive us batty. Car parking spaces. We could never find one! Instead of heading to a large parking lot and thinking, "Ugh - this is going to be difficult and a huge pain in the butt' - we changed the way we thought. We imagined four or five open spaces that we could find easily - and 90% of the time, it is flawless.

There's a 'saying' - 'You can do anything you set your mind to."
We have far more power than we think! Rock your day!