Visualization – I Can See Clearly Now

Years ago, I started to practice the technique known as visualization. I have always had a ‘plan’ for my life in my head, and I ran through it quite regularly. I did everything I could to ensure that this plan came to fruition – the unfortunate part? I wasn’t really paying attention to the lessons that were coming my way at the time they arrived. Luckily, I tucked the information away somewhere in the recesses of my brain and could call on them when I was actually ready. I also had many folks on my side advising and assisting me along the way. We all do, we just aren’t always aware of it.

I would visualize things but I think I called it daydreaming. Whatever we call it, it leads us into a world where we can imagine anything is possible. We create in this realm and discover things about us we use to change areas of our lives.

For example – I wanted to see myself working in a certain career. I had zero experience and worked at a fast food burger joint at the time my new discoveries hit me.

I would come home after work reeking of nasty frozen meat smells and although I was making some money, I couldn’t see myself in this role for long. When you literally would rather bite your own tongue off then ask one more customer if they'd 'like fries with that' - it's time for a career change. I left the burger flipping industry after a decision to return to school - tongue still intact.

Once I decided to head to Community College, I found myself (by choice) in a course to become a Youth Care Worker. I had no idea where a Youth Care Worker found employment, but the job itself sounded thrilling! Since I was a ‘learn the hard way’ type of gal, I thought immersing myself in this career would benefit others – and myself. I couldn’t have been more right.

I was sitting in my second class at the college when my big break showed up. I am a firm believer in opportunity – and when one knocks, we can either take a chance and jump at it, or ignore it and carry on with our lives. The choice is always ours. The problem is when we look back and ‘what if’ – it does us no good and regrets are futile in the future.

It was literally like a light bulb went on. Someone in our ‘Observation and Case Reporting’ class mentioned that a place in the city was hiring Youth Care Workers.  My senses tingling, I flew to a payphone at class break and called about the job. I was told to submit a resume and I did so the next day.

Returning to my job at the fast food restaurant became excruciating and too much for me to deal with. I wanted more – and I wanted out of this place fast. A week went by and I heard nothing. So, being the stubborn job seeker I can be, I called to find out the status of the job opening. The job was still available.

Youth Care Workers are really busy people. What I didn’t realize at the time was that the Unit Managers are even busier, and when they are in charge of hiring – patience is a virtue. I was told by the secretary that a lovely woman named Loretta was hiring for the position, and that I could contact her. Over the next few days, I started to believe Loretta was a figment of everyone’s imagination. I was focussed and determined – and I continued to gently and professionally barrage her office with messages of my intent.

Two more weeks passed and I began the process of giving up hope. Y’know when the phone rings and your adrenaline rushes in anticipation, but soon plummets in disappointment when reality hits? I went through a lot of that.

I wanted to be a Youth Care Worker. I had just known it was what I was meant to do. Suddenly, I felt like the last few weeks had been a tough lesson – and I didn’t like it.

My family started to notice my change of mood. I was less passionate about my life and the potential of a new career. I decided to get out of the house and go for a walk around our block. I was easily agitated – my energy felt displaced and without purpose. I also knew I wasn’t cut out for tossing frozen beef circles on a heated conveyor belt (if you thought they really flame broiled that stuff....good morning) – so what was I going to do next?

At that moment, there on the street in the early 1990’s, I let go of all of it. I cleared my mind of all of the garbage I had started thinking, the frustration and the confusion. I realized that whatever was going to happen would happen because I worked at it. I would bring it from my mind into my world.

I walked home – refreshed by the idea that my ‘path’ would unfold as it should. I would deal with whatever came my way. I could still find a better job than my current one, and the rejection of one job didn’t solidify anything in my future. I had choices.

I entered the house, announced my arrival home and.......

.....was told a phone call had come in minutes before....from Loretta, who had apologized for not getting back to me sooner. When I returned the call, I remember noticing how badly I was shaking. I was in shock. Loretta was a wonderful woman who again apologized and mentioned how determined she thought I was – and if I thought I could handle a position such as the one she was offering. There was no doubt in my mind.

I was invited for an interview that week – and sat trembling in a room with Loretta, Youth Care Worker Unit Managers and an adorable nun. I loved my life! The Interview went great and I found myself working overnights in a facility near my home.

I continued on with my college classes, attending from 6 pm until 10 pm, after that heading straight to work for an 11 – 7 shift. A few months later, I also took on a position at a Youth Outreach program. I loved working and helping, but probably should have focussed on my wellness at the same time.

The point I’m trying to make is that if we can dream it, we can do it. We may have obstacles thrown in front of us, but our attitudes and determination result in certain consequences. I was on the brink of giving up on the whole idea based on one event. After ten plus years in Youth Care, I will never be able to explain how grateful I am for all of the experiences, the lessons learned and the friendships I’ve sustained over the years.

It changed me for the better in so many ways and left an impression that will last forever.

It wasn’t always the easiest job – but I was so grateful for the opportunity – and the fact that I never quit trying.