Listen to Your Heart

The words, 'Listen to your heart' have always felt sort of profound to me. I think it may be the influence of Roxette's same titled song back in the 80's - what a great song! If you love it as much as I do, you'll need to re-watch the video immediately - so head here after you read this blog (be polite....seriously...).

So, what does it mean to listen to your heart? For me, it means letting my heart be strong (because it is) and tuning out my mind - the one that always wants control - and allow gratitude and peacefulness to take over. When I am grateful, I am in the best space I can be! It keeps me positive and moving forward because I'm not bogged down with that sticky, weighted negativity that I have been so used to in the past. There was a time when I was more comfortable that way - refusing to leave my den of darkness. I liked it there I suppose - no, wait - I didn't - but we can convince ourselves we do.

For me, our minds are tricky things - I can't count how many times I used to find myself at a fast food drive through paying before my brain let me acknowledge that I had already ordered and 'driven thru.' It sounds like a miraculous excuse, but if we are not fully aware of our conscious decisions, stuff like that happens. At grocery stores, there are times we grab whatever is hanging around the till that looks good because it happens to be there. Once we leave the store we end up thinking, I bought this because......I just told myself I WASN'T going to buy this!' We've all been there.

How about committing to a full day of doing well nutritionally only to end up standing at your kitchen counter wolfing down piece after piece of toast with cheese whiz because your body wants carbs....and your mind sort of shut off while you got things rolling. I talk about all of that fun 'realization' stuff in my book, The Fat Girl Now 50% Lighter.'

The heart holds more wisdom than the brain because the heart is filled with love. It knows how to give love and get it in return to live. There will be times that it is stepped on, broken, squashed, bled seemingly dry and it will still love knowing the value it holds. We need love and we'll sometimes do ridiculous things to get it.

We succeed with finding the balance between mind and body by loving ourselves first. By doing that, we can love others too. Everyone wants to be loved - if they say otherwise, they fib. Love is a necessity, no matter what skin yer in! This doesn't mean that we should go out and randomly accost hug strangers without asking, it means we understand the balance.

The mind works differently - not from a place of love but (hopefully) logic. A strange combination, isn't it? The trick is finding the balance. We don't want to go too far into the mind and lose the ability to realize the feelings of the heart too.

I could go on and on with research and theory, but I'd rather it explain it this way.....

The heart is purer the more we love. Simple, right? I was exhausted from being miserable, so I decided to stop. It didn't feel like a decision at the time - it felt like I went kicking and screaming, but I went. After awhile, the kicking and screaming subsides as logic meets love and we realize why we are doing anything in life. We realize that the choices we made, we made because we wanted to - consciously or not - and we are where we are because of them.


RECIPE FOR A HAPPY HEART (FILLED WITH LOVE)
by Shawn Cote

Tell the mind to quiet down - just for awhile - you will get back to it later.

OK, now in an imaginary bowl, let's mix together these ingredients:

Baskets and Baskets of LOVE
A world of SMILES
Endless LAUGHTER
Limitless KINDNESS

Imagine in your mind; all of the people you love. See their faces? They love you too! The love in your heart is growing again already!

Into your bowl add:

FUN
ADVENTURE
COMPASSION
WARMTH
UNDERSTANDING
HONESTY

We can't ever find enough TIME for these recipes, so no worries about TIME right now. We do what we can.....

 Mix all of your ingredients together and let it all grow inside your heart.

Relaxation, meditation and reflection time all allow us to rejuvenate, feel the gratitude and let ourselves be reminded that it's all about balance.

Rock your day.....now go watch that Roxette video! ;)

Happy Birthday to Me!

Another year has flown by and another year means another birthday. I have always loved my birthday! I see people all the time who say 'it's just another day' or 'it's no big deal.' I disagree! A birthday is a joyous day - it's the day you started your journey on earth! There are so many facets to the wonders that it all entails, it mesmerizes my mind.

I enjoy mind exploration - wondering, imaging and dreaming about what we can do or be. I have no desires to travel to the far reaches of the world, but I do possess the passionate drive to accomplish and learn all I can while I'm here.

Every year on my birthday, I write myself a letter. I date and tuck the letter away in my super duper secret hiding top drawer of my dresser and leave it, untouched for one year. On my birthday, I sit down and write the pages I will read the following year.....and then I read the other one.
I love writing the next years before reading the last years. This allows me the freedom to reflect on the past year, not the past year smattered with what I just read-now-writing-follow-ups. The letters always make me smile, cry, regroup, reset, relax and re-evaluate.

So this morning - on the morn of the 41st year of my birth, I wrote my letter. I thought I'd share snippets of it as examples. The rest is just for me.

 

May 19th, 2013

My Dearest Shawn,

 

Forty one! Wow!

 

Simply thinking about the number makes me actually feel a little weepy this year. It isn't because I feel like I am growing old or I feel like age is becoming an issue - I reflect on the past year (briefly) and am so extremely grateful that I can see the arrival of my 41st year.

 

The past 9 months have been interesting - a time of survival, healing and renewal. Who would have believed we would have ended up fighting for our life more fiercely than the first time?

 

The universe reminds us that we are not free from life happening because we have already endured something difficult. I am still grateful and always will be.

 

Life is an exciting ride even though we must also embrace some grief along the way.

 

I never understood grateful until I 'endured.' Now that I am finding my latest 'normal' (whatever that is!) I am enjoying life on yet another level. Appreciation - one of the lessons learned again this year (as in past years). I look at my family and know that I am supported, loved and free to be who I am. This is such a cool gift to me!

 

I have learned to treat myself better through the years and with continued effort, the intention is to live on! Another successful, positive year filled with dreaming, living, loving, creating and exploring. I am always learning and that is the most fun for me!

 

Treating ourselves well is one of the keys to moving forward, feeling better and in turn inspiring ourselves to love life on a level we never thought we deserved to reach. Welcome to your life - again!

 

I love you. I support you in your choices and I'm here for you always. You are a strong, amazing woman who has a passion for life.

 

Rock your year - see you at 42.

Don't do anything I wouldn't do - and have fun doin' it.

 

Love, Shawn

Then, I went back and read last years letter. It went something like this (again, snippets, not the entire letter);

May 19th, 2012

Dear Shawn,

 

What a great year!

We're FORTY!

 

Another birthday - I feel like I say that every year, but I'm certain I think it. I love every year, as I tend to extract all of the joy I can from moments these days.

 

Never worrying about age means we never have to remember it either - so I always say I'm celebrating the 11th anniversary of our 29th birthday.

 

So many things happening, all moving us forward and toward greater things! The wedding ceremony plans are well under way and the excitement of everything is ensuring things come together with seemingly little effort.

 

The year is about to bring with it so many wonderful events! We're in the middle of planning a wedding, and all of the great things in between - those are the year's biggest. We have waited a long time for this day.

 

I also say this is the year to really move forward. Stepping out of our comfort zone has been key - living life on our own terms and figuring out what it is we really want (and working towards it) are the goals of 'Shawn' this year.

 

The book, 'The Fat Girl Now 50% Lighter' is almost done. It is the albatross around my neck at the moment - I see it done, but am finding my perfectionist behavior coming out. It in itself has been an incredible learning process and I have loved every minute of it. I love being both a student and teacher of life!

 

Love, support, understanding, freedom, trust - I have found all of those things in someone I never thought existed.

 

ME.

 

Here's to 41. See you again soon.

 

Love, Shawn

I love reading last years letters - you never really remember everything you write, but it is intriguing to go back later and re-read them. It is also a unique way to learn more about yourself too.

 

Feel free to steal the idea - it is a great way to reflect on a past year before tucking the memory lovingly away.