Believe in People

You only have to believe in PEOPLE.

DESIDERATA

I Took a Deep Breath.....

 

Whatever it is.....repeat after me......

 

Today - I commit to 'letting it go.'

Tuning Out

There comes a time in one's life when hanging on to the crap that stresses us out just doesn't make sense anymore. Repeating the same mistakes seems less and less.....cool. Remember when hanging on to meaningless anger, frustration and bitterness meant something? There are things we 'review' and toss - like cleaning cupboards sometimes! I never realized how much television influenced my life until I was faced with a huge, scary question: could YOU tune out?

There used to be a time when watching countless hours of mindless television made sense to me. I thought I loved it - I could waste so much time! It made sense 7 years ago to turn it off and try a life without it. I had heard someone tell me they had unplugged for a week - and I was surprised at how disgusting my reaction had been. How could I have reacted so negatively without even considering the positive consequences of it?

People don't like being uncomfortable - we don't like pain - and my being without a television 7 years ago was going to be both. I knew it in my heart, head and heels before I even tried. I ruined the chances of being successful at it.....because I didn't dare bring it up to my family for fear they'd want to do it.

The universe had other things in mind - because 2 months later, hubby himself mentioned it. I heard him out and thought that if we were both on the same page with this (I knew we should, I just didn't want to) - we should give it a shot.

Here we are 7 years later without.....what do they call it now? Cable? Satellite? A 'bundle?' We love it and are so grateful we turned off the commercials - especially with an impressionable toddler in the house. The first time we took her to someone's home and the television was on (avec commercials) - our little soaking sponge asked for every single item she was shown.....and she also had to go to a play park right away!

We can choose to turn it off at any moment - we don't have to see what happens next. It isn't real.

I explain that television is called programming for a reason - and if you can't find the patterns in the 'templates' of the shows, then it might be time to take a break. Reality shows - I watched as many as I could! After 10 'Survivor' seasons, I gave up. It was getting ridiculous. talk about finding what works and running with it. The monotony of the repetitive programs was getting to me.

We decided to let go of the television and we have never regretted it. Now, however, I am that woman who gets mortified stares and looks from people I talk about it to.

I also explain that we have televisions in our homes, but we don't have satellite or cable. We can choose to watch a documentary online - and we have Netflix. These, although commercial free are not difficult to overuse either. It is still about being aware of your choices......

.....all that just from the idea of turning off your television?

When we chose to turn it off - to change things in our lives for the better - we did so knowing certain things would happen. This is why we do anything that moves us forward - so ourselves and our lives improve.

I suggest committing to turning off your own television for one week. In the summer that shouldn't be too tough - there are so many great things to do outside! One week. That's it. If you want to turn it back on afterwards, feel free to watch TV!

Push yourself past that uncomfy place you think you will find - it exists only in your head. Then email me and tell me all about it.

I love choices. Rock your day!

Don't Hold Your Breath Over Stress

I used to walk through my entire life feeling like I was holding my breath. I didn't seem to breathe the same way I observed others doing it. Now, I didn't immediately freak out and start wondering if I was a mermaid hybrid (looked into it later though, pretty certain I'm not) - instead, after I became 'aware' of this happening, I explored what was going on.

I didn't seek out a counsellor (for this) and I didn't phone a friend. I stopped worrying about it and started being honest with myself. There was something going on, but I couldn't make the connection.....yet.

Once I did, and I acknowledged that I always seemed to be waiting for 'the other shoe to drop in my life' or was subconsciously worrying about who people thought I was versus who I really was.....my life opened up in ways I never imagined (but I should have)!

I had to change the stressful way I was thinking. The easiest way for me was distraction, music and visualization.

I secretly imagined my own life 'movie' playing in my head, played my 'life soundtrack' to myself and created a life for myself that I had only daydreamed before. I'm screaming cheesy 80's tunes in my head at the grocery store and playing out hilariously fun scenarios while people watching waiting for an appointment. I said 'yes' to more fun and less stress and life improved.

I had to take a serious look at what I wanted for myself. I suppose some people call it 'growing up' - I'm not sure I grew up - but I'm certain that gaining awareness, experience and a more broad outlook at my role in the universe had something to do with it. I've seen 80 year olds who don't seem to get it, and I've seen 11 year old cancer patients who do seem to get it. This tells me that it isn't the age of any of us, but the experiences and awareness we gain. I'm still trying to figure out what 'it' is myself, but with the help of many others, I'll make it after all (a little Mary Tyler Moore reference for all you fans).

I find it so interesting that there were also many small details that changed the course of the path in front of me. Without them, things again would have been different. I was at a doctor's office years ago and I looked down to see an article in a magazine. It looked like someone had just folded it to that page and left it there just for me. I (of course) picked it up and started reading it.

At the time I was a Youth Care Worker - and although I hadn't physically acknowledged my stress, I was riddled with it. The article in the magazine was about determining levels if you were a sufferer. According to the magazine, if you sit in a relaxed state, the position of your tongue is critical to determine your stress. I was intrigued!

If we sit in a relaxed position, our tongue should be resting flat on the floor of our mouth. Immediately I checked tongue position - it was slammed against the roof of my mouth, seemingly the opposite of what it should have been. The article went on to say that tense tongues mean tense folks. I couldn't argue about that.

After that day, I was always aware of my stress. I sometimes giggle because I know how full of crap some magazines are - but if all it took was that for me to move forward one step and become aware of my stress and how to deal with it - great article.

Every human being on earth deals with something. It is a necessity in this obstacle course we call life. We have good things, bad things and mediocre things occurring in our lives and we are each given a choice every single time. We take a path. There are 'consequences' to those paths - every one of them.

Each path connects to the next path and the one behind it. Often, we feel confused as to what choices to make - or we create worry as to what will happen to us if things go 'off the path' due to those choices.

Did you catch that word.....'create' - to make up. Why do we tend to create negative things with our very super creative minds?? We have capabilities that go far beyond what any of us can really grasp, but we'd rather imagine horrible things happening in the parking lot at the grocery store rather than dream the positive. Humans are funny.

I have always thought of life as one of those 'Choose Your Own Adventure' books that I used to read. I am fully aware that some of the choices I made throughout my life weren't terrific (or good for me) but I made them, and took whatever consequence karma delivered - whether I wanted to or not. I understand now that my experiences (all of them, even the crappy ones others still point out to me as a wonderful remembrance of who I used to be) all created who I am now.

This is how life is. Mine used to be a tad rockier in the mind, body, spirit balance - but we move forward and learn and change.

Life happens and the ebb and flow is what makes the journey a collection of our individual experiences.

Simple reminders to ourselves help in wonderous ways (like daydreaming does!);

My intentions are positive and so is my attitude.

I don't look back on anything with regret. I may not have always felt like I had control in my life, but I always had a choice. My life was set to unfold - and it was going to - and it did - and here I am. 

This is me. The good, the bad and the ugly. I am a spiritual being....and I am having a human experience.

Thanks for being a part of it.

Namaste. Rock your day! ;)

YES YOU CAN

You can do anything you want to do as long as you

make up your mind.....you can do it ~Dick Hoyt

We have absolutely no excuses......

There truly are some phenomenal humans out there and I learn so much from their stories.

Dick Hoyt is one of my heroes and you're about to see why.

I watched in awe of what these two were capable of together. It is simply brilliant.
 

 

 

 

 

It is the power of the human spirit - the determination of love and the will of the mind.

 

Comments welcome.

 

Rock your day....and visit TEAM HOYT.COM

Randy Pausch's Inspiring Speech

We don't beat the reaper by living longer, we beat the reaper by living well....and fully.

~Randy Pausch

 

 

 

 

 

Randy Pausch has always inspired me to live life with gratitude - the lessons he teaches have changed the way so many people look at the way they lead their own lives.

 

Diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, he gave his LAST LECTURE at Carnegie Melon University, and the world was forever changed again - mine was too.

 

I imagine what it must have felt like to be sitting amongst the graduates or the parents - listening to a man who wouldn't be around much longer speak so freely about death and why we must act now - live now - move ourselves in any direction, but move.....

 

Randy Pausch died 68 days after this speech was given.

Thanks for the lessons.

 

 

 

 

Moments

True Love & 66 Years Together.

This video is making its way around Facebook these days, and many of my friends are sharing it. I sat down to watch it and have to admit, I was blown away by the raw sincerity of this couple.

 

I'm not going to spoil the video - please, take 1:24 out of your entire life and witness true and absolute love.

66 years together doesn't just happen.

 

 

Rock your day.

Probiotics You Make At Home For Almost No Money

A probiotic is a mystical and wonderful thing - at least it used to be. Now, it is the first thing I reach for each and every morning. Why? Let me tell you why.....

The term 'probiotic' literally means 'for life.' Looking at this definition, it then seems logical that we can determine what an 'anti-biotic' does. It is 'anti-life.' I even Googled it for you....

When a person takes antibiotics, both the harmful bacteria and the beneficial bacteria are killed. A reduction of beneficial bacteria can lead to digestive problems, such as diarrhea, yeast infections and urinary tract infections. The possibility that supplemental probiotics affect such digestive issues is unknown, and remains under study.

So once again, if we go back and look at the probiotic, it will help alleviate digestive problems, yeast infestations and urinary tract infections. Yet they just finished saying that there is only a 'possibility' that supplemental probiotics do these things. I could beg to differ, but I don't have to beg. I know what they do for me.

There are many probiotics on the market, and some of them are quite amazing, and then there are those that claim they are active cultures, but we end up paying far too much for something that doesn't work because we don't understand it.

The very first probiotic I ever tried was ACIDOPHILUS. We could purchase it in capsule form too, so we were off! Here is the best explanation for what it is that I could find (thanks, New Well Being.Com).

Lactobacillus acidophilus is a "friendly" strain of bacteria used to make yogurt and cheese. Although we are born without it, acidophilus soon establishes itself in our intestines and helps prevent intestinal infections.

Acidophilus also flourishes in the vagina, where it protects women against yeast infections. Acidophilus is one of several microbes known collectively as probiotics (literally, "pro life," indicating that they are bacteria and yeasts that help rather than harm). Others include the bacteria L. bulgaricus, L. reuteri, L. plantarum, L. casei, B. bifidus, S. salivarius, and S. thermophilus and the yeast Saccharomyces boulardii.

Your digestive tract is like a rain forest ecosystem, with billions of bacteria and yeasts rather than trees, frogs and leopards. Some of these internal inhabitants are more helpful to your body than others. Acidophilus and related probiotics not only help the digestive tract function, they also reduce the presence of less healthful organisms by competing with them for the limited space available. For this reason, use of probiotics can help prevent infectious diarrhea.

Antibiotics can disturb the balance of your "inner rain forest" by killing friendly bacteria. When this happens, harmful bacteria and yeasts can move in and flourish. This can lead to vaginal yeast infections.

Whenever you take antibiotics, you should probably take probiotics as well, and continue them for some time after you are done with the course of treatment. Although we believe that they are helpful and perhaps even necessary for human health, we don't have a daily requirement for probiotic bacteria. They are living creatures, not chemicals, so they can sustain themselves in your body unless something comes along to damage them, such as antibiotics.

Cultured dairy products such as yogurt and kefir are good sources of acidophilus and other probiotic bacteria. Supplements are widely available in powder, liquid, capsule,or tablet form. Grocery stores and natural food stores both carry milk that contains live acidophilus.

Interesting, right? Keep in mind that when we hear 'yogurt' that they don't mean the store bought processed yogurt that won't have what we need in it (processed never does). Acidophilus is just one probiotic, and we haven't gotten to the recipe yet - we have to keep moving forward.....

Once I explored wellness further, I learned that if a probiotic purchased at the store isn't refrigerated, it doesn't have much use in our guts. It is broken down and digested/eliminated before we are able to extract anything useful and what we do get ends up a mediocre help to our systems.

So I started buying the refrigerated probiotics. I thought they were incredible! The RENEW LIFE probiotics were expensive to me (I am a very thrifty gal) at $60 for 60 capsules - but I bought them and I know what a difference they made. I felt so much better!

The probiotics we bought were always kept in the fridge, and I kept them in the door so I was always reminded at breakfast to take them.

I also made and drank REJUVELAC - a liquid made from soaking brown rice in water. Straining off the liquid, another probiotic is created. Hubby and I had been popping a probiotic capsule every morning, so trying this was definitely more work intensive. It was a learning process and we embraced every new idea or theory with an open mind.

The recipe for the brown rice rejuvelac is in my book, "The Fat Girl Now 50% Lighter. We got the recipe from someone who had been making their own for years. We took it every day in place of the capsule - but we found difficulty in getting around one simple aspect of the self-made rejuvelac.

It tasted like baby puke.

At this point in my wellness journey, it didn't matter to me. I choked it down every day with a water chaser and patted myself on the back for getting through another one. If I didn't rev myself up psychologically, I'd never do it. The smell alone....

The reason I kept taking the horrid stuff? It worked far better than anything else I had tried - and my 'balance' between mind, body and spirit continued to improve. Of course, we weren't simply waiting for rejuvelac to do all the work for me - what I ate still mattered, but the flora balance of my guts kept getting better, making life improve overall.

This year, that same wonderful, amazing rejuvelac maker who had helped me in the past returned to save me yet again. She had with her a new, improved rejuvelac recipe - and this one doesn't taste like baby puke at all! In fact, when hubby and I first went to try it, we braced ourselves - and then we happily discovered it tastes like water. Bonus!

The new rejuvelac is made with spelt berries. They are really spelt seeds, just with a fancy name.

So, the recipe is beyond simple - it goes like this;


DAY 1:
*In a quart jar put 1 cup of spelt berries and 2 cups of water.
*Cover with a cheesecloth.
*Set on your counter top for 24 hours.



DAY 2:
*Drain water and discard this water.
*Add 2 more cups of water to the jar.
*Let stand for 48 hours.






DAY 3:
Do nothing, you're supposed to be leaving it for 24 hours, remember? Think of all the things you can do with this extra time! You could go for a walk - head to the park and take a picnic....or go play in the mud.....or write your friend a letter...on real paper.....but you'll have to do something because you don't have to do this. Not today.





DAY 4:
*Your Rejuvelac is ready!
*Strain the 'water' off and store in a new, clean glass jar.
*This will make up your Rejuvelac.
*Add 2 cups of water to the original jar.
*Let stand for 24 hours.






DAY 5:
*Strain all liquid into the 'straining' jar.
*You should have 1 quart of Rejuvelac in the jar now (no berries - they are in the other jar all alone now).
*Refrigerate your Rejuvelac for up to 21 days!


When we are finished with the spelt berries, we take them and plant them in dirt. Waste not, want not - and we always cut the blades of grass that grow, dry and powder them and use them in smoothies. Spelt berries can be purchased at your local bulk foods place or from an organic grower like Integrity Foods in Riverton, Manitoba. They are far less cheaper and go farther than a store bought probiotic.

The spelt berry grass (as I call it) - if it seems work intensive, I assure you it isn't. They grow all on their own, you merely have to cut and dry it when it is ready. The benefits to our wellness is amazing and it never hurts to keep exploring.

Now - the final instructions. I try to make everything as fun as I can, otherwise it just isn't worth doing.

I take a shot glass and fill it with my Rejuvelac. This will be referred to as my morning 'shot.'

Once I started exploring wellness, I realized there were still some things that I had to psych myself up for.....like the first Rejuvelac recipe I had.

This one is a breeze to take - but hubby and I still put it in a shooter glass each every morning, share a smile, a toast to wellness - then we chug 'er down.

It's empowering to know you're making the right choices for yourself - and doing it like a boss!

How will you know Rejuvelac is working for you? My experience has been this; when I first started taking it, I really noticed that my guts started moving more. Yes, by that I mean I was attending the washroom area of my home more frequently. I could hear the burbling of my tummy as things in the bacterial world started re-balancing.

These days, I take a shot every morning to maintain things in the digestive world (and all of the other great reasons).

Do you have experience with Rejuvelac? I'd love to hear about it - feel free to leave a comment.
Rock your day!

 

The Power of People

Tell me if you've heard this one.....

I was browsing the web the other day and came across an interesting story. So interesting was it that I felt inclined to post it here for your review.

The power of people moves me.

Here's how the story went;

First , there was this guy. His online name is  european_douchebag on Reddit. At least it was - my guess is he may have 'moved on' from that monicker....we can hope so.

He was probably quite average, this Mr. douchebag - and while going about his usual day - he ran into a woman in a restaurant. Apparently he was somewhat shocked because he snapped a photo - the one you see below - and posted it on Reddit with the caption; "I'm not sure what to conclude from this."

I'm unsure of how he felt this impacted his life at all, and enough to click a photo and post it - but the response he got from the world was not what he had intended.

It wasn't long before the woman in the photo responded herself;

Hey, guys. This is Balpreet Kaur, the girl from the picture. I actually didn't know about this until one of my friends told on facebook. If the OP wanted a picture, they could have just asked and I could have smiled :) However, I'm not embarrased or even humiliated by the attention [negative and positve] that this picture is getting because, it's who I am. Yes, I'm a baptized Sikh woman with facial hair. Yes, I realize that my gender is often confused and I look different than most women. However, baptized Sikhs believe in the sacredness of this body - it is a gift that has been given to us by the Divine Being [which is genderless, actually] and, must keep it intact as a submission to the divine will. Just as a child doesn't reject the gift of his/her parents, Sikhs do not reject the body that has been given to us. By crying 'mine, mine' and changing this body-tool, we are essentially living in ego and creating a seperateness between ourselves and the divinity within us. By transcending societal views of beauty, I believe that I can focus more on my actions. My attitude and thoughts and actions have more value in them than my body because I recognize that this body is just going to become ash in the end, so why fuss about it? When I die, no one is going to remember what I looked like, heck, my kids will forget my voice, and slowly, all physical memory will fade away. However, my impact and legacy will remain: and, by not focusing on the physical beauty, I have time to cultivate those inner virtues and hopefully, focus my life on creating change and progress for this world in any way I can. So, to me, my face isn't important but the smile and the happiness that lie behind the face are. :-) So, if anyone sees me at OSU, please come up and say hello. I appreciate all of the comments here, both positive and less positive because I've gotten a better understanding of myself and others from this. Also, the yoga pants are quite comfortable and the Better Together tshirt is actually from Interfaith Youth Core, an organization that focuses on storytelling and engagement between different faiths. :) I hope this explains everything a bit more, and I apologize for causing such confusion and uttering anything that hurt anyone.

For those who anticipate an end of the world cultural clash of the titans - forget about it. When Balpreet posted her response to the photo - if that wasn't amazing enough - the original poster (remember, the european_douchebag?) then replied to her reply!

The original poster then apologized by saying;

"I know that this post ISN'T a funny post but I felt the need to apologize to the Sikhs, Balpreet, and anyone else I offended when I posted that picture. Put simply it was stupid. Making fun of people is funny to some but incredibly degrading to the people you're making fun of. It was an incredibly rude, judgmental, and ignorant thing to post.

(Category) Funny wasn't the proper place to post this. Maybe racism or douchebagsofreddit or intolerance would have been more appropriate. Reddit shouldn't be about putting people down, but a group of people sending cool, interesting, or funny things. Reddit's been in the news alot lately about a lot of cool things we've done, like a freaking AMA by the president. I'm sorry for being the part of reddit that is intolerant and douchebaggy. This isn't 4chan, or 9gag, or some other stupid website where people post things like I did. It's fucking reddit. Where some pretty amazing stuff has happened.

I've read more about the Sikh faith and it was actually really interesting. It makes a whole lot of sense to work on having a legacy and not worrying about what you look like. I made that post for stupid internet points and I was ignorant.

So reddit I'm sorry for being an asshole and for giving you negative publicity.
Balpreet, I'm sorry for being a closed minded individual. You are a much better person than I am
Sikhs, I'm sorry for insulting your culture and way of life.
Balpreet's faith in what she believes is astounding.


Amazing, right? That's the power of people.
:)

A Long Winded, Test Results Are In Update About Me.

Things in life happen. They just do.

We may not always understand why at the time, or how we'll get through it - but we always seem to. One day we will each face a day when it is our time to go, and our loved ones will get through that difficult time with love and the support of each other. That's how it works.

When I speak, I choose to speak of uplifting things - fun, life experiencing journey moments that we can grab by the tail and drag around like an old teddy bear. It's what life is about, smattered with milli-moments (short time increments compared to the good....it's my new word. Feel free to use it) of grief, loss, pain and trial. We all know grief and loss - it takes time, and helping others through to the other side of anything is always the greatest gift you can give someone.

When August 18th, 2012 dawned, I had no clue the direction my life was about to turn. It was supposed to be the perfect day - we also know how things can change in the blink of an eye......

It was my wedding day, and I felt incredibly good. I had company from out of town and we woke up to get a good, early start on the preparations. We ate a hearty breakfast with friends and soon after, I felt nauseous. I felt so nauseous, I couldn't stand it.

Food poisoning on the day of my wedding?!! Terrific! I did all of the little home remedy things I could think of to move things along (if you now what I mean) and nothing seemed to work. I felt horrible and went to bed until the ceremony. I had my hair done while lying in bed - and it turned out amazing.

Wedding Hair - had to show it off!

So, long story short - I made the ceremony, got hitched, and slept through the reception. I not only felt bad physically, I felt bad for missing all of the fun with so many wonderful people. I'm all about fun!

After lying in bed for a week, my right leg swelled up to three times the size.....it hurt so badly that I couldn't touch it. A lump on my throat had developed and it was so sore no one could get near me and I couldn't turn my head in any direction. I had no clue what was going on, but my family was determined to get me to a doctor - and they did. I was then rushed to a Winnipeg emergency room where I sat for 5 hours waiting for assistance. At this point, I was on so much morphine for pain that I didn't care if I had to sit there forever as long as you didn't ask me to make an effort. I was done.

Then I started coughing up blood. It's amazing how I tried to justify and deny it too - a nurse asked if this was normal for me and I said yes. What!? A tissue filled with bright red blood after I coughed was not normal at all. Thankfully a very concerned hubby was there and straightened it out.

They got me into a room and test after test determined that I had suffered a DVT (deep vein thrombosis) and extensive pulmonary embolism. This means that I had a blood clot in a deep vein (one of the major ones) and some broke free, travelled through my system and into my lung. I was told both lungs, then the right lung and one doctor told me it travelled through my heart - so at this point, I'm still not certain.

They did tell me it started in my upper right thigh and that it was big. I still don't know what to imagine when I try to describe what he said. Is it 'grain of rice' big or is it orange sized big? I had no frame of reference.

I had to now try to figure out how the clot had developed....I was getting used to the idea that there was one.




There were certain things we could say cause blood clots;

Drinking
Smoking
Fast Food/Greasy Diet
Obesity
Stress
Injury
Surgery
Miscarriage
Birth Control Pills (I was asked this repeatedly)

I thought of this long list and realized - no matter what it was, I knew I had been guilty of ALL of those things in the past!

One interesting aspect to this whole thing was that the day I ended up in hospital, I totally lost the use of my right arm. Completely! You know when you make a muscle and you can feel it? I had lost my muscle - it was gone! I held my arm against myself like a damaged bird. It was my writing hand and I spent every night in the hospital imagining using it again, writing, painting, typing on my computer. I threw a baseball in my mind over and over again. I was going to use that arm again - no doubts.

One stipulation to my going home was that I had to inject my tummy every morning with blood thinners.....via a needle. I am anti-prescription, but this one was necessary at the time. No one knew how or why this had happened to me, and the goal was to keep me alive. I was in full favor of that goal! I had to get my blood INR level up between 2.0 and 3.0 to be on the safe side, and I was having trouble getting my level to even get to that 2.0 mark. Initially, I think I was 1.3.

So, after a week in hospital I was heading home. My arm was still useless, but the best healing starts where you feel safe and cozy - and I was there. I wanted nothing more than my family around me and someone holding my hand. I felt very far away from the regular world at this point and I guess I was frightened by how quickly it had come upon us all.

I was simply grateful.

I did nothing at first. I sat on the couch and watched the wall for a long time. I was processing everything that had happened. I was finally hearing nothing but silence. I had heard nothing but noise....from far, far away all week long. It felt like I had been lying in a tube, and everyone was outside of it talking and living. I wanted to rejoin them. I started by forcing myself to get up and get moving. There was a lot of self talk - I laughed out loud sometimes at the way I motivated myself. We do what we can.

Once I started getting mobile, I had to start adjusting my diet. There were so many things you can't have when on blood thinners! I adjusted accordingly, researching with hubby again to determine the best course of action for me. My greatest disappointment came when I realized that anything with Vitamin K needs to be eaten in moderation. Dark green, leafy veggies are the #1 prime candidate for Vitamin K. One early days doctor visit to check my INR resulted in me being told it was very low and asked if I had been eating too many vegetables. I found myself adjusting to yet another whole new world, one I am still finding my way around in.

My arm continued to improve - all this due to my never giving up, carrying around 2 lb weights while walking and doing range of motion exercises at home. I would put the dishes away and 'help' my right arm with the other. I couldn't tie a piece of cloth in a knot - my arm just didn't work that way anymore. I knew I had to stretch what little muscle I had, but the pain I felt when I did it was almost enough to make me give up. I would feel a burning sensation, followed by intense pain and what felt like blood flow into the area. It was excruciating, but each time I could use my arm a tiny bit more and I felt a little bit better.

I never stopped moving forward, and when I started seeing real results, there may have been a few high 5's to myself just because I finally could......

I was told I would need to travel to physiotherapy 2-3 times a week out of town. I screamed through some of it and laughed maniacally through the rest. I was doing this no matter what anybody said I could or couldn't do.

Here's a little experiment: Take your writing hand and place the tip of your pointer finger on a desk or table. Only the tip of your finger - and rest your weight as usual on that fingertip.

Now....lift your fingertip off of the table using the rest of your arm. Easy right?

I couldn't do that. The muscle was literally gone. Well - it is back and better every single day.

My right leg felt like it was 'bubbly' - I couldn't bend it as far as I wanted to or run at all at first. Starting slowly, I walked down the steps of our house. I'd sit on a chair and wait for our daughter's bus every afternoon. I was grateful I could do that. Eventually, I was walking (with the assistance of a cane) slowly up and down the driveway with our dogs, and then down the road - now we're up to anywhere between 6 - 12 km per week.

Time, patience and a lot of love gets us there.

I had some incredible helpers along the way too! I will never forget all of those people who thought to send well wishes, call and let me know they were thinking of me or helping my family get by until I could get back. The positive thoughts worked wonders for me and I am so grateful to everyone (and you all know who you are).

UPDATE:
I had an appointment at Cancer Care Manitoba in October, 2012. I didn't seek it out, I was 'referred' due to my 'situation.'

They wanted to take blood samples and see if they could figure out why the DVT happened. I attended, and waited until the end of February until I determined the results weren't here yet.

In March, the results of my tests came in. After donating almost 30 ml of blood, I was eager to learn what they had discovered.

Sitting in my medical doctor's office, I get the results.

I have what is 'called' a genetic mutation....'Protein S' and 'Protein C' deficiency. Usually, a person has one or the other....I got both.

I dug a little bit deeper.....

Protein S deficiency is a disorder associated with increased risk of venous thrombosis. Protein S, a vitamin K-dependent physiological anticoagulant, acts as a nonenzymatic cofactor to activated protein C in the proteolytic degradation of factor Va and factor VIIIa. Decreased (antigen) levels or impaired function (activity) of protein S leads to decreased degradation of factor Va and factor VIIIa and an increased propensity to venous thrombosis. Protein S circulates in human plasma in two forms: approximately 60 percent is bound to complement component C4b β-chain while the remaining 40 percent is free. Only free protein S has activated protein C cofactor activity.

There are three types of hereditary protein S deficiency:

• Type I - decreased protein S activity: decreased total protein S (=both bound and free protein S) levels AND decreased free protein S levels (quantitative defect)
• Type II - decreased protein S activity: normal free protein S levels AND normal total protein S levels (qualitative defect)
• Type III - decreased protein S activity: decreased free protein S levels AND normal total protein S levels (quantitative defect)

Protein S deficiency can also be acquired due to vitamin K deficiency or treatment with warfarin, systemic sex hormone therapy and pregnancy, liver disease, and certain chronic infections (for example HIV). Vitamin K deficiency or treatment with warfarin generally also impairs the coagulation system itself (factors II, VII, IX and X), and therefore predisposes to bleeding rather than thrombosis. Protein S deficiency is the underlying cause of a small proportion of cases of disseminated intravascular coagulation (DIC), deep venous thrombosis (DVT) and pulmonary embolism (PE).

Let's not forget the added bonus of the Protein C deficiency;

Protein C deficiency is a rare genetic trait that predisposes to thrombotic disease. It was first described in 1981.

**WAIT** 1981?? I was 9 years old already!

The disease belongs to a group of genetic disorders known as thrombophilias. The prevalence of protein C deficiency has been estimated to about 0.2% to 0.5% of the general population. Protein C deficiency is associated with an increased incidence of venous thromboembolism (relative risk 8-10), whereas no association with arterial thrombotic disease has been found.

The main function of protein C is its anticoagulant property as an inhibitor of coagulation factors V and VIII. A deficiency results in a loss of the normal cleaving of Factors Va and VIIIa. There are two main types of protein C mutations that lead to protein C deficiency:^[2]

• Type I: Quantitative defects of protein C (low production or short protein half life)
• Type II: Qualitative defects, in which interaction with other molecules is abnormal. Defects in interaction with thrombomodulin, phospholipids, factors V/VIII and others have been described.

The majority of people with protein C deficiency lack only one of the functioning genes, and are therefore heterozygous. Before 1999, only sixteen cases of homozygous protein C deficiency had been described (two abnormal copies of the gene, leading to absence of functioning protein C in the bloodstream). This may manifest itself as purpura fulminans in the newborn.

There's way more to it than this, but you get the *yawn* idea.

A rare genetic trait. Hereditary - due to both my parents creating the perfect combination of blood thickening behavior in me. I remember hearing, 'genetic mutation.' I joke and tell others that I always knew I was a genetic mutant - now I have proof. For now, I am staying on the blood thinners and working towards the next step of getting off of them.

Once I heard all of the results, I couldn't believe my reaction. I was relieved! I was so relieved I wanted to jump and shout and scream and sing and laugh and cry and all of those things.....but not with my doctor. I wanted out of his office immediately so I could go find a rooftop somewhere and scream at the top of my lungs that I was alive and happy and moving forward in every area of life.

Congenital protein C or S deficiency is an inherited disorder, which means it is passed down through families. Congenital means it is present at birth.

The disorder causes abnormal blood clotting.

About 1 out of every 500 people has one normal gene and one faulty gene for protein C deficiency.
Protein S deficiency occurs in about 1 in 20,000 people.

It's not that my body doesn't make these proteins, they don't make enough to keep my body from clotting. So, basically, my body is always saying, 'Hey! Clot for us, would ya? Our bodies cannot eat anything so that we create more of these proteins, they aren't like chicken or fish proteins - these ones help my body NOT to clot....but they aren't working.

I had heard that I would have to be on prescription blood thinners for life. If I had developed a clot due to one of the many things listed above, they would probably insist. As it turns out, being a genetic mutant gets you some leeway. If I can find a natural way to keep my blood thinner (Vitamin E, cayenne pepper, garlic, onions.....sounds tough so far, doesn't it?) I should be good to go!

Food is medicine. We're working on it.

When others ask why this makes me happy, I have a few things to say.


One - I am still here. We don't know what happens to us after we cross that gap from here to there (many of us assume), and I have some living and loving to do here. I'd like to stay - and grateful that I have been offered such an incredible gift. I know many, many others who left too soon. I am excited to learn when the time comes....just not yet.

Two - I am learning so much more about the most important thing on Earth to me....ME! I can love everyone I want - my friends and my family - but without loving myself too, I get to enjoy none of the other stuff. I have to take care of me.

THREE - You find your way again eventually. Stick with it and get mad if you have to, just get moving.

I have an appointment in June for further blood tests, but working with my doctors they are all aware that sometime very soon we will be looking for the perfect combination to get me off of the thinners. My current dosage is 8.5 mg a day - I'm told this is a high dose, so we'll work from there. Researching tonnes of natural options, I am completely confident that I can be off of them eventually.

Aside from the medical stuff that I barely think about day to day, summer is arriving and I can't wait! There are so many fun things to look forward to. I turn 41 this year, and every year I write myself a letter and read last years. This year's is going to be good!

Every single moment is precious. Love yourself too.
Keep moving forward!

Let's Make a Deal!

Hey - do you remember that old television game show called 'Let's Make a Deal?' It's on T.V these days with a new and popular celebrity host, but the old show was more fun. It was new - these days remakes, prequels and anything but originality reigns, and I've stopped watching television altogether. I keep saying, 'they don't call it programming for nothing.'

I was a kid when Let's Make a Deal was on and I remember feeling like if only get on that show, I could choose a curtain and all my dreams COULD come true. I could also end up with a goat or a giant tricycle and be mocked, laughed at and ridiculed forever - but it was worth the risk! I was excited and knew one day I would be on that show. I knew it.

OK, so I've yet to be on that show, but it doesn't mean that I've given up on that dream. So, back to the point.....

If you think about it, our lives are exactly like a game of Let's Make a Deal. We each have our own versions of it, but essentially all of the elements are there.

We each get 'choices' all of the time - and we each make choices all day every day. How will you wake up? Cheery? Crabby? How will you start your day? A greasy heavy breakfast versus a filling, nutritious breakfast to get your body working right. Notice how I slipped the wellness aspect of choice in there? One choice gets us things we want, like and dream of - and one gets us a bunch of negativity and all that it entails.

The point hits home not when we think of the choices we face during a day, but when we use the same 'template' to address the past issues we have yet to work through.

When people decide that something from the past has to be 'fixed' because it left an emotion in them that they don't know what to do with, it puts them in a continual 'pattern of the past' until that emotion is dealt with.

Imagine someone who had a junky past - bad stuff happened (as it does to us all at some time). We judge 'worst' and 'best' based on our own experiences - so when someone has difficulty moving away from an experience in their past....I suggest Let's Make a Deal.

Take the experience from the past (that you are having trouble moving past) and bring it up....again. We get tired of replaying the same scenarios, yet we have nothing to 'replace' it with so we do nothing. We each will have something unique to us to deal with, work on or work through - and I've found this is the least 'therapy' type avenue to understanding how to do that I could come up with. I'm not a 'medical jargon' type of gal, I learn much better this way. Perhaps others do too.


We need to create 3 curtains. Behind each curtain are choices we had at the time. Remembering that we have always tried to do the best we could with what we had where we were at the time, the curtains represent real results that could have happened. One of the curtains must be the choice you actually made.

If anyone is having a difficult time understanding this, here is how I demonstrate this lesson visually:

Find three pieces of the same paper. On each one, write a choice you had regarding the situation.

Take the 3 pieces of paper, flip them over and randomly shuffle them around......then give each one a number (1 to 3). Now it's time to play! Feel free to make more curtains depending on choices available to you at the time.....it's your deal!

First, without looking under each 'curtain' - set them up like the show, in order from #1 to #3. There's no particular reason for this, I just thought the game should be orderly.

Choose a 'curtain.' Flip it over - this is going to be the choice you WOULD have made in the situation. What is the first feeling you get about the choice you selected at random? Remember, you have to trade everything you have in this present time for that choice and you must realize that a.> you can't actually do that and b.> it may not have been a good choice and you understand that now.

If the choice you selected is one you would rather not have made, great news! There's another option to choose from! Select another 'curtain' to reveal the choice you COULD have made. Is it better than the first curtain? Can you come up with every consequence of every different action to make the best choice for yourself now?

Do you keep the first curtain or trade for the second? Choices aren't tough - think about how many you actually make in a day. We all do very well!

So if you dislike both of your options at this point, there is always that last curtain. Awww, go on - open it! Get the full experience - and remember this.....one of those curtains was your present consequence to a 'choice' you wrote down. Looking back on our lives, we know we can never trade experiences and memories and go back to certain places in time......we have to close the curtains on the 'what if's' and know 'what is.'

A secondary lesson:

Flip all of the papers so that the choices are facing up. Looking at 'the big picture' now, knowing what you know and having lived what you have lived - make your choice again as though you were back when fill in your own thing here. Is it the same choice you made back then? If it is, you are holding emotion for no good reason besides maybe needing a little company. You can relax and let it go - the right choice was made for you at the time.

Always remember too, that our present day perspectives are much different (and more experienced by the second) than they were in the past. The more time that passes, the more distant some memories and facts may get.

If you see that another choice (that was available back when __________) then you have only two simple things left to do. Forgive yourself and move on. You can see clearly now, time has moved forward and you have seen the consequence of a choice you made. Again, we cannot revisit this place and we can't stand in front of an imaginary screen reliving the past. It's unhealthy and futile.

Perspective and experience of the 'here and now' looking back are different than perspective and experience of living back 'then.' I remember thinking how normal certain things used to be to me and now, they just aren't a part of my life. There are reasons for everything.

Living life in the here and now is the only thing that matters - and if we still feel that we owe the past anything (or that it owes us), then the awareness that we can only live our best life now is key. Happiness doesn't lie in the past, it should tornado around the present with the intention of leaping into the future.

Today will soon be our past, and if you happen to look back on today 5 years from now, what will you see? How will it make you feel?

Make it surreal! Rock your day!

Overcoming Negativity

There are some people that wake up every day and aren't thankful for what they have. I know - hard to believe. If you find that you fall into this category, listen up! It's time to change perspective on things and start living life in a positive, get-what-you-want kinda way. I know - I fought it forever too. There's really no point. Not if you expect to seriously and absolutely get what you want out of your life.

Living in negative-ville only gets us more negativity - and we don't really want that. Often it is only a matter of becoming aware of how we think, so how can we change things and start seeing real life results?

 

We need to stay positive!

First off - no one owes us a thing. We are where we are because of a sequence of events throughout time and we'll never really track it all back to whom to blame.....so let's just move forward and live a happy life, shall we? Great!

So, gratitude. It's what we are thankful for and I can tell you one thing. Once we focus our awareness on what it is we really want, most (if not all) of the negativity melts away. Did you know that stress and negativity have been weighed? They have weight! I found this fascinating.

The first step in making a change from the negative is awareness. Focus on what you say and how you say it. Is it biting? Did it sound brash? Are the words dramatic and hurtful? If our intention is positive, no worries. The words will be too.

If negativity is creeping in, get motivated! Find your passion and get going. It doesn't matter what it is - we all have different passions. Discover what you're about by getting involved in things that keep you busy. Television is not going to be that thing. Sorry. Not having had a subscription to TV for over 5 years now, I can assure you it isn't painful. It is freeing!

Another great tip to escape the negative aspects of your life - cut yourself some slack. We're always harshest on ourselves and this is really unfair. We are doing the best we can with what we have where we are, and that's what we're doing. We can't compare ourselves to anyone else, we just keep moving forward ourselves. If we aren't, awareness will remind us that we may have a little work to do.

Everything starts or stops with a thought. How many times have we stopped ourselves or abandoned opportunity because we talk ourselves out of something? Once we are aware of this too, we can begin to adjust the sails. Remember: there is no such thing as failure - but there is success in the making!

One way of ensuring that we think positive? Avoid revisiting the feelings of the past. Find joy in the memories you cherish, but let go of the ones that made you feel like garbage. Why? Well, if they hurt, they aren't good for us. Secondly, we can never go back there and change it. Third, it left us with a feeling, a negative reminder that something negative was in our life at one time. This doesn't mean it remains there today. We release the past by reminding ourselves of these things and continually being aware that we deserve to move forward.

Through all of these steps mentioned, we still have to be willing to accept change throughout the process. Negativity cannot grow without input - neither can love. We choose one or the other.

My last tidbit of advice would be this: grab onto your life however you can and really get involved. It is so motivating to know the things you are capable of and then shoot far beyond that to see what happens. I have yet to be disappointed!

We're all going to experience loss, pain, hurt and defeat - but attitude is everything. Embrace every moment, good or bad - accept that things happen and dealing with 'stuff' no doubt takes time. Eventually, the negativity will flow right through, leaving only the ability to stand up in our own lives and handle whatever comes our way.

No one wants to choose to be negative - it doesn't 'feel' good. Making changes in our own lives takes work, but it is far easier than dealing with the remaining feelings from always being negative.

Life awaits - get livin' it!

Own Yourself

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you’ll be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.

 Arthur Gordon

Change Your Thinking

I found this somewhere online - and I loved it so much I just had to share..........

It will take just 37 seconds to read this and change your thinking.

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.

One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs.

His bed was next to the room's only window.

The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end.

They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation..

Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and colour of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake.
Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every colour and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by.

Although the other man could not hear the band - he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days, weeks and months passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.

She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.
He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed.

It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.

She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.'

Epilogue:

There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.

 Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.

 If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.

Randy Pausch - The Last Lecture

'We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just the way we play the hand.’

This quote is credited to a man by the name of Randy Pausch. If you haven’t heard of him, allow me to introduce you.

Randy Pausch, a computer science professor at Carnegie Mellon University was given the opportunity to give what the University traditionally dubbed ‘A Last Lecture.’

Professors are asked to consider their demise and impart their final ‘words of wisdom’ in a lecture to family, friends, colleagues and students.

Randy really didn’t have to imagine what he would say – he had been diagnosed with cancer prior to the offer and was now facing putting his affairs in order. If he had any words of wisdom, he knew now was the time.

With three small children under the age of 5 years old, he moved his family closer to his wife’s parents’ house so that when he passed, they would be able to find support, peace and love amongst those who knew her best. He was not in denial.

I first learned about Randy, his wife, children and the lecture through the internet. I love the internet! I sat in awe of his lecture, watching it over and over.

His lecture taught me so much – from who I want to be, how not to waste precious time – and how to love unconditionally though we know factually that death comes to us all.

I took the lecture to the adult learning centre I worked at years ago and showed it to the classes there. I talked about it to those who would listen and I watched it again and again. I wasn’t obsessed – just soaking up every life lesson message that Randy Pausch had to offer.

He dedicated the lecture to his children – something I thought was so special and would be meaningful to them as they got older.

The lecture was videotaped and went viral online. It was featured on a Barbara Walters special – and his words still strongly resonate with me today. If you dream it – you can do it. Heck, he was even a Disney Imagineer!

Randy Pausch passed away shortly after all of these events happened in his life – and at the end of it all, he still spoke of being grateful. He had accomplished so much in his 46 years – and left a legacy his children will cherish and learn from.

I found his book, ‘The Last lecture’ at a book store and immediately dashed to the cashier to buy it. His perspective was so interesting to me, I hoped he would offer more of it in the book. I wasn’t disappointed.

I’m currently reading, ‘The Last Lecture’ again – and every time I do, another lesson is discovered.

 

Randy Pausch has left this world - I never had the opportunity to meet him in real life, but his story hit me more profoundly than most I'd heard. Perhaps I was in a transition myself, it's possible.

 

Either way, Randy Pausch....thanks.                  

 

THE LAST LECTURE

 

 

The Truth About The Microwave

I had owned a microwave for as long as I could remember. My work places always had a microwave, and I always used it. It had to be safe.....right?

I have told people my story, ideas and research findings on the microwave - and each time I am giggled at. I then return to research further, attempting to gain some new insight I may have missed as to how the microwave came to be.....how it heats food...and if it hurts the human body.

As I continued to research, I started realizing that although I wanted one thing, I was not willing to know what I knew and still use this contraption.

I wanted to keep my microwave very badly. I can't stress that point enough. I even moved it out of the kitchen at first just in case I needed to heat something up fast. I always did because I knew it was there. Little steps.

My favorite thing to put in that magic box of food creation was bags of microwave popcorn. Heck, I remember being a teenager and not having any good old microwave popcorn, so I would take a brown paper bag, add oil and popcorn - throw it in the 'mike' and pop my own. It worked - not as great, but it did work! I always got popcorn.

I've burnt myself many a time on the micro-horrors I've created. Food is heated from the inside to the outside using water as friction to create heat - so it's no wonder when I put those leftovers in, they turned into fossils due to extreme lack of water.

So microwaves help remove the water from our foods? Don't we need water.....like...badly?

They didn't nickname using a microwave 'nuking' for no reason. Kiss all of your valuable nutrients goodbye when you use one - it eliminates everything our bodies can use. Breast milk (for the new moms) has no nutritional value for a child after it has been microwaved. Convenient, huh?


The first thing you probably noticed when you began microwaving food was how uneven the heating is.

"Hot spots" in microwaved food can be hot enough to cause burns—or build up to a "steam explosion." This has resulted in admonitions to new mothers about NOT using the microwave to heat up baby bottles, since babies have been burned by super-heated formula that went undetected.

Another problem with microwave ovens is that carcinogenic toxins can leach out of your plastic and paper containers/covers, and into your food.


The convenience isn't always worth the consequences. We've been told time and again that standing next to a microwave is really bad for us.

According to Dr. Mercola;

But even if there's nothing wrong with your microwave, keep in mind that standing a foot away from it while it's running can expose you to upwards of 400 milliGauss, and a mere 4 milliGauss has been firmly linked to leukemia. It would certainly be wise to avoid letting your children stand near the microwave when it's running, and avoid it yourself as much as possible—especially if you're pregnant. Also, since your eyes are known to be particularly susceptible to microwave radiation (high microwave exposures are known to cause cataracts), I recommend stepping away from your microwave while it's in use.

So when I hear things about my food, health and potential risks therein, I want to know more. Everything I researched told me (screamed at me) to toss my microwave. Natural News shared this article on the health risks of microwaves and why users are so unhealthy. I tried to justify one point I had read. 'There is only minor amounts of radiation emitting through the glass door.' That was all it took. I had to ask myself what the trade off was in the long run. Was my health at risk? I thought of every meal I could remember.

I tried to recall all of those 'good' microwave moments I had in my life.......I thought of what microwaved cheese looks like. Then I read the article about fake microwave popcorn butter and how the factory workers have to dress in protective gear to handle it. I thought about what was in those TV dinners I loved so much. I thought about all of those cozy winter nights with reheated bowls of soup I thought were good for me. I thought of all of those tongue burns from reheated foods I ate too quickly. Roof of the mouth was worse.....pizza pops.....

The word 'carcinogen' kept leaping off of every page I read and those who already knew about the hazards of the microwave would tell me all about the carcinogens too. So, now I'm telling you. Microwaves create carcinogenic food. Cancer causing food.

Then I thought about my daughter and all of the food I had already given her to eat from this small metal box.

Goodbye, microwave. I figured we'd miss you - turns out we were wrong.