Go ahead - Let Go

To let go isn't to forget, not to think about, or ignore.

 

It doesn't leave feelings of anger, jealousy or regret.

 

Letting go isn't winning, and it isn't losing. It's not about pride, and it's not about

how you appear, and it's not obsessing or dwelling on the past.

 

Letting go isn't blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and

doesn't leave emptiness, hurt or sadness.

 

It's not giving in or giving up.

 

Letting go isn't about loss and it's not defeat. To let go is to cherish

memories, and overcome and move on.

 

It's having an open mind and confidence in the future. Letting go is accepting.

 

 It's learning and experiencing and growing.

 

To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh,

made you cry and made you grow.

 

It's all about all that you have, all that you had and all that you will soon again.

 

Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving.

Letting go is 'growing up'. It is realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy.

 

To let go is to open a door, and to clear a path, and to set you free.............



Tuning Out

There comes a time in one's life when hanging on to the crap that stresses us out just doesn't make sense anymore. Repeating the same mistakes seems less and less.....cool. Remember when hanging on to meaningless anger, frustration and bitterness meant something? There are things we 'review' and toss - like cleaning cupboards sometimes! I never realized how much television influenced my life until I was faced with a huge, scary question: could YOU tune out?

There used to be a time when watching countless hours of mindless television made sense to me. I thought I loved it - I could waste so much time! It made sense 7 years ago to turn it off and try a life without it. I had heard someone tell me they had unplugged for a week - and I was surprised at how disgusting my reaction had been. How could I have reacted so negatively without even considering the positive consequences of it?

People don't like being uncomfortable - we don't like pain - and my being without a television 7 years ago was going to be both. I knew it in my heart, head and heels before I even tried. I ruined the chances of being successful at it.....because I didn't dare bring it up to my family for fear they'd want to do it.

The universe had other things in mind - because 2 months later, hubby himself mentioned it. I heard him out and thought that if we were both on the same page with this (I knew we should, I just didn't want to) - we should give it a shot.

Here we are 7 years later without.....what do they call it now? Cable? Satellite? A 'bundle?' We love it and are so grateful we turned off the commercials - especially with an impressionable toddler in the house. The first time we took her to someone's home and the television was on (avec commercials) - our little soaking sponge asked for every single item she was shown.....and she also had to go to a play park right away!

We can choose to turn it off at any moment - we don't have to see what happens next. It isn't real.

I explain that television is called programming for a reason - and if you can't find the patterns in the 'templates' of the shows, then it might be time to take a break. Reality shows - I watched as many as I could! After 10 'Survivor' seasons, I gave up. It was getting ridiculous. talk about finding what works and running with it. The monotony of the repetitive programs was getting to me.

We decided to let go of the television and we have never regretted it. Now, however, I am that woman who gets mortified stares and looks from people I talk about it to.

I also explain that we have televisions in our homes, but we don't have satellite or cable. We can choose to watch a documentary online - and we have Netflix. These, although commercial free are not difficult to overuse either. It is still about being aware of your choices......

.....all that just from the idea of turning off your television?

When we chose to turn it off - to change things in our lives for the better - we did so knowing certain things would happen. This is why we do anything that moves us forward - so ourselves and our lives improve.

I suggest committing to turning off your own television for one week. In the summer that shouldn't be too tough - there are so many great things to do outside! One week. That's it. If you want to turn it back on afterwards, feel free to watch TV!

Push yourself past that uncomfy place you think you will find - it exists only in your head. Then email me and tell me all about it.

I love choices. Rock your day!

Food Disorders - Why Do We Do It - Part Deux.

Yesterday, I talked about myself - as I tend to do here - and we looked at the labelling of food disorders. Not getting into each one individually, I believe the ideas and thoughts of people who deal with these labels are far more important than the label itself.

So why do we do it?

 

Now, I am not labelling myself a former anything - I was a hurt soul in a big confusing world.....and I loved the taste of commercially packaged, deep fried, processed, greasy foods that companies love to sell us. I used food - and it used me. I looked up what some of the precipitating factors are to most (if not all) food 'disorders.' Here's what I found;

 

 

(This compilation courtesy of caring.com)

 

1. Loneliness in all relationships
   a) Inability to experience intimacy

 

2. Presence of fear of authority figures or being controlled by another person
a) Difficulty in maintaining a "sense of self".

3. Possible history of abuse
a) Neglect of emotional needs
b) Verbal Abuse (overt or covert)
c) Sexual Abuse

4. Early "rejection" of the opposite sex

5 . If a male Compulsive Overeater, possible over-identification with mother
a) Over-involved emotionally

6. Tendency towards "Social Anxiety"
a) Tend to isolate and use food as a "friend"
b) After social situations, relieve anxiety by bingeing or overeating

7. A history of "diet failures"

8 . Preference for food instead of other activities
a) Food is friend
b) Food is hobby

9. History of Guilt/Shame
a) Parents used guilt as a form of control
b) Life filled with "shoulds", "oughts", "always" and "nevers"

10. Possible other addictions
a) Sugar
b) Prescription Drugs
c) Alcohol
d) Sex

11. A long-term, unhappy marriage or other significant relationship
a) Food becomes a point of intimacy instead of spouse
b) Food to cope with conflict
c) Food to fill a void

12. Long-standing relationship difficulties
a) Avoidance of conflict

13. Difficulty dealing with Anger
a) Internalization of anger
b) Ends in resentment

14. "Loving Heart" has been damaged (hurt)
a) The compassionate heart is buried, though still present

15. Hunger for acceptance and love

Can we relate to one, two or all of these? That is where we get serious with ourselves.

Now these are also reasons for other things people 'become addicted' do; gambling, sex, prescription medications, food, pornography, sodas, drugs, bad relationships (oh yes, you can be addicted to those too), alcohol....the list is endless. All of these have been labelled as things we can be addicted to.

Just remember, when it is an addiction to shoes, nylon stockings or getting tied up - it's a fetish.
See the difference? Me neither. ;)

Remember a few key things when dealing with any feelings (not food disorders - those come after we can't deal with the feelings);

• Get enough rest and expand positive relationships.
• Take deep breaths, close your eyes, picture yourself in a field or at a beach. Turn on quiet
  music; any method of relaxation helps.
• Begin an enjoyable task or project immediately after eating a meal.
• Carry food to work rather than buying it there. Pack healthy, satisfying food.
• Call a friend who knows about your problem and have him/her just listen.
• Learn your triggers, learn your danger zones.
• Work on your perfectionism. It’s okay to not be perfect about every external matter.

Oh...........and as always - rock your day!

Food 'Disorders' - Why Do We Do It?

Food disorders. Before I even begin this post, those two very powerful words have already instilled some 'notions' in our minds to what we believe food disorders are all about.

The entire 'disorder' breakdown is vast....and tough to decipher. Let's just talk about me instead.....

There was a point in my life where I really, really thought I knew everything. Clearly (very, very clearly now) I was mistaken. I'm still working towards total enlightenment - and isn't that what complete and total knowledge would be?

I remember hearing the term 'food disorder' for the first time in my life. It terrified me - I was raised a huge fan of food and now we had to be scared of it? I wasn't signing up for that one!

I have known self & medically diagnosed bingers, anorexics, bulemics and compulsive eaters. Let me start by saying that these people are people too. There are no judgements here - only observations and a desire to learn.

All of these technical, medical names for food disorders fall into the category of 'issues with food.' When I examine it more closely though, it seems to me that food is only one small facet - a vehicle through the fire so to speak.....so where's the fire?

*Insert smoky fade to the past here.....*

When I was very young, I had no issue with food - I LOVED FOOD - I loved the crepes with strawberries my Nan used to make when we'd visit her - complete with whipped cream and bacon on the side.

My childhood nickname was 'bacon face' and I loved it.....bacon...and the name.

Food was equated with love for me - and I felt really, really loved! I was never hungry - and cheese whiz on white toast always felt like home. In my mind it always will, I just don't have to keep eating it.

Steaks on the BBQ, community town hall dinners bubbling with mashed potatoes and slabs of roast beast....... and pig roasts at family gatherings - the world was filled with delicious food!

As soon as I didn't want to eat it I would be asked, "Do you know there are starving children in Africa?"

I always wanted to reply, 'So send this to them....I don't like liver.'

I never understood that. I wanted to scream that I was full (or it was liver), so give it to a kid who is starving! It made sense to me! Hurry! Africa is a long way away......

I loved getting my driver's licence - fast food drive-thru's were amazing! The bright lights, the thrill of scanning the menus and then - the big payoff. Indigestion in thirty minutes or less.......only it wasn't free.

One day, I realized that 'the collective' human race was teaching me how I should look, think and act. The media did it's job well on me! What I was hearing - it didn't go side by side with the foods I liked at all. I now loved all of this stuff (all the deep fried badness in the world) and now I was being told not to.

I was disappointed - no, I was pissed off - and I became rebellious.

Unfortunately, the flashy colors and media ads had also rooted deep in my cranial areas, and I was still 'hooked on food'. I kept telling myself this and I kept making it so.

I rebelled against those who thought I should look a certain way, how I should view the world and what foods I should and should not eat. My spirit and mind were hurt so I punished my body too.

I didn't eat right unless I was forced to - and the older we get, the less we are made to eat what is best for us. We are expected to learn how to care for ourselves.

Inside, I was terrified to miss a glass of milk in a day because the Canada Food Guide was screaming at me that I needed it. I couldn't stand milk! Cheese - that I could manage - and I would eat all the cheesy pizza I could instead of balancing a meal like we're supposed to. I couldn't stomach coffee, but learned to incorporate ice cold soda into my diet ever single day - more than 12 times a day.

Yes, I think that is a disgusting number too. Cringe away. If you can stomach it, my trek to the path of wellness story can be found here. I'm not saying I'm proud - I'm saying it is a lesson learned and for that, yeah - I am damn proud.

I still never categorized myself as having a 'food disorder.' I would have called it 'some crap going on in my life so I ate good tasting stuff to feel better.'

We can all create reasons to carry the past through to our present and further into our future - but that has actual weight to it! Everyone has a past and I was no different. All of the accumulated 'stuff' in my life hadn't been dealt with. There was a lot - at least there was when I went to sort it all out.

We grow to understand ourselves.

I've done other things as an adult to feel better too; shopping, drinking, smoking, sex. I wouldn't label any of them as 'disorders.' I don't believe any one of them were the driving forces behind why I did any of them. They were outlets available to me at the time for dispersing feelings.

I had many, many usable excuses to fall into bad food habits - but that still wasn't it. I still loved the bad-for-me food. We are meant to love the bad food - it is created so we do. Companies rely on our inability to decipher this for ourselves. I'm not special - or so pathetic that I can never change. Monsanto isn't an issue in the news these days for nothing. The term GMO didn't exist when I started eating bad foods - I was told soda wouldn't hurt me if it was diet. Instinctively, I probably never bought that - but I used it as a reason to carry on doing what I was doing......enjoying ignorance.

Ignorance can get you places you don't want to be - we learn this through experience. I am so excited for life's full range of experiences!

Back to the food.....

What we call 'food' is not even close to what it used to be. We are deceived into believing our food store products can't harm us - and that's just ridiculous nowadays. We know better because we are becoming aware.

The real problem wasn't ONLY the food choices I was making - it was that I wasn't dealing with the real issues in my life - I wasn't learning to love myself so I was drowning the real me in a huge vat of unchanged grease in an attempt to kill her. The choices I was making were for my demise, not my rise! I had to learn to care about what was going on inside my head, put the distractions of the world's negativity aside and face myself head on. I used my rebelliousness against myself for far too many years. It was time to turn the tide. I learned to find the balance.

I used to think food was magical.

Now I know food is magical - because I now realize what real food is.

Rock your day!

Tomorrow: Food 'Disorders' - Why Do We Do It? Part II.

Overcoming Negativity

There are some people that wake up every day and aren't thankful for what they have. I know - hard to believe. If you find that you fall into this category, listen up! It's time to change perspective on things and start living life in a positive, get-what-you-want kinda way. I know - I fought it forever too. There's really no point. Not if you expect to seriously and absolutely get what you want out of your life.

Living in negative-ville only gets us more negativity - and we don't really want that. Often it is only a matter of becoming aware of how we think, so how can we change things and start seeing real life results?

 

We need to stay positive!

First off - no one owes us a thing. We are where we are because of a sequence of events throughout time and we'll never really track it all back to whom to blame.....so let's just move forward and live a happy life, shall we? Great!

So, gratitude. It's what we are thankful for and I can tell you one thing. Once we focus our awareness on what it is we really want, most (if not all) of the negativity melts away. Did you know that stress and negativity have been weighed? They have weight! I found this fascinating.

The first step in making a change from the negative is awareness. Focus on what you say and how you say it. Is it biting? Did it sound brash? Are the words dramatic and hurtful? If our intention is positive, no worries. The words will be too.

If negativity is creeping in, get motivated! Find your passion and get going. It doesn't matter what it is - we all have different passions. Discover what you're about by getting involved in things that keep you busy. Television is not going to be that thing. Sorry. Not having had a subscription to TV for over 5 years now, I can assure you it isn't painful. It is freeing!

Another great tip to escape the negative aspects of your life - cut yourself some slack. We're always harshest on ourselves and this is really unfair. We are doing the best we can with what we have where we are, and that's what we're doing. We can't compare ourselves to anyone else, we just keep moving forward ourselves. If we aren't, awareness will remind us that we may have a little work to do.

Everything starts or stops with a thought. How many times have we stopped ourselves or abandoned opportunity because we talk ourselves out of something? Once we are aware of this too, we can begin to adjust the sails. Remember: there is no such thing as failure - but there is success in the making!

One way of ensuring that we think positive? Avoid revisiting the feelings of the past. Find joy in the memories you cherish, but let go of the ones that made you feel like garbage. Why? Well, if they hurt, they aren't good for us. Secondly, we can never go back there and change it. Third, it left us with a feeling, a negative reminder that something negative was in our life at one time. This doesn't mean it remains there today. We release the past by reminding ourselves of these things and continually being aware that we deserve to move forward.

Through all of these steps mentioned, we still have to be willing to accept change throughout the process. Negativity cannot grow without input - neither can love. We choose one or the other.

My last tidbit of advice would be this: grab onto your life however you can and really get involved. It is so motivating to know the things you are capable of and then shoot far beyond that to see what happens. I have yet to be disappointed!

We're all going to experience loss, pain, hurt and defeat - but attitude is everything. Embrace every moment, good or bad - accept that things happen and dealing with 'stuff' no doubt takes time. Eventually, the negativity will flow right through, leaving only the ability to stand up in our own lives and handle whatever comes our way.

No one wants to choose to be negative - it doesn't 'feel' good. Making changes in our own lives takes work, but it is far easier than dealing with the remaining feelings from always being negative.

Life awaits - get livin' it!

It's the Olfactory Senses Game!

 

Would you like to play a game? Who wouldn’t, right? Excellent – then let’s begin.....

According to the ‘Supercharge Your Memory’ book by Corrine L. Gediman & Francis M. Crinella, Ph.D, our noses, coupled with certain smells, can trigger long lost memories.

Equipped with a thousand sensory receptors in the nose, and we can identify approximately ten thousand different smells. All scents are initially neutral, but range from pleasant, unpleasant and neutral.

The game is as follows:

Categorize each smell listed below as pleasant, unpleasant or neutral.

Recall a personal memory associated with each smell.

Experience the world through the olfactory senses – expect surprise!

 

Here is the list of smells:

Fresh Cut Grass

Dog Fur

Skunk

Fireplace Smoke

Wine

Roses

Baby Powder

Popcorn

Pine Needles

Cinnamon

Salty Ocean Air

Horse or Cow Manure

Fresh Baked Bread

Fresh Paint

Disinfectant Sprays

Sweaty Locker Room

Cigarette Smoke

Old Musty Antiques

Dentist’s Office

Bath Soaps

Calamine Lotion

Scented Candles

Coffee Brewing

Mothballs

Bark Mulch

 

Explore the senses. The journey is the fun part!

Takin' the Long Way Around

Friday - the beginning, if you're lucky, of a two day 'unwind.' Are you ready?? I wasn't sure how to catapult myself into the weekend, but music is always a great way to find inspiration - and that's exactly what I did this morning.

I found a playlist of my favorite stuff. It's nothing that anyone else has influenced (unless you were the artist). Some of it would be considered' giggle-worthy' but the list belongs to no one but me. It's personal. Each song means something to me. A moment in time that captured my attention through energy, feeling, vibration (as music tends to be) and timing. It really is fascinating to explore why the choices we have in music exist to begin with.

What 'strikes the chord' in us so to speak? Again, it's personal.

I was going through my list of great songs - and one country tune flung itself to the forefront of my mind. One song - that encapsulates my life to this point. That's a tough one - I've been through some stuff and although many songs touch on portions of the journey, no one defined it like this one.

"The Long Way Around."

If you don't know the controversy behind the Dixie Chicks and the subsequent album they wrote, no worries. It's over. Let the music speak for itself. This song struck me at a time in my life when I was literally at the major crossroads in my world. Decisions had to be made - and I despised making them. What if I was wrong? I was always wrong! What if.....What if......

When I realized it was far worse to stand there 'what if'ing than it was to get up and move forward, things got easier. I look back at this song and draw power from it. My power. My discovery. My new changes thanks to decisions I made to keep going.

Find the music that makes you want to be better. Explore the magic music creates in your life. I may always take the long way around, but at least I get there eventually.

Have a great weekend!